By what authority do I speak on this subject? First, I am a therapist in private practice who for the past thirteen years has been working directly with men in the field of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The majority of men I had counseled through the years have been gay men who have experienced age-inappropriate sexual encounters. I helped to establish a unit in a local psychiatric hospital for sexually addicted men and without fail every man who came through the unit had experienced age-inappropriate sexual contact. I have spoken and written on the subject and have had the privilege of working with and knowing the top people in the field. I have also done graduate work in the field.

There is one other qualification. I had my first experience of age-inappropriate behavior at the age of 6, again at age 11 and then at 15. Not only do I know intellectually what happens, but also I have been there myself.

One of the salient features of men who seek out sexual contact with boys is the lack of regard for the boy's real need. Many gay men describe knowing they were gay and feeling a lack of connection with the human race that they do not understand - a sense of somehow being different. Unable to talk about the difference, because that cognitive ability is not developed, gay boys will often seek a mentor who they are attracted to. The boy does not understand the attraction to be sexual in nature. However, he knows intuitively that he is seeking some type of nuturing.

In the ideal scenario, the boy finds an older man who understands what is going on and is able to guide the boy through the feelings that are associated with the confusion of being gay. Too often. however, the boy finds a man who INITIALLY offers the nurturing that the boy so deeply desires.

INITIALLY is the operative word here because the utimate desire of the man is to have sexual contact with the boy. He has no real interest in the boy's emotional development. Manipulation of the boy's emotions begins the first moment contact with the boy is made. The adult's interest is in sexual relations.

One of the functions that the adult has working for him, a function that the boy has no knowledge of, is his already developed understanding of the human body's compulsion, from the "in utero" stage to the point of death, toward the experience of sexual pleasure. So as the attentions of the man move from "hanging out" to sexual contact, of course the boy is going to respond with an erection. The man knows this. Men who have been abused have described the complete confusion they experienced when their mind was saying "something isn't right here" and their body was responding "this feels very good."

Again, the adult will play an upper hand. When discovered in age=inappropriate behavior the adult's first line of defense is often "he seduced me." The second line of defense is "he enjoyed it." Rarely does the adult accept reponsibility. Is is important to note that there have been studies done of men and women who have reported no ill affect as a result of age-inappropriate sexual contact. These men and women are a very small minority and have taught us quite a lot about the treatment of those who have been recipients of inappropriate sexual advances.

I have yet to treat an adult who was abused as a child who did not feel that he was the one responsible for the age-innapropriate behavior. I have yet to treat a child who was abused who didn't hold himself reponsible. Such is the mindset of the child; he feels himself responsible for all that happens in his world.

The effects of age-innappropriate sexual contact are far reaching in the experiences of men: inability to form lasting relationships, addictions, poor self-esteem, distorted body image, to name a few. It is an experience that many men have great difficulty talking about.