As many of you know, I will turn 65 on my birthday, Wednesday, March
31. We're having a Boxer Birthday Brunch in Palo Alto, CA, at Hobee's
Restaurant at 1:00 P.M. on Sunday, March 28. I understand that at
least one other birthday boy will be there, too. The more the merrier.
Hobee's is located at 4224 El Camino Real. They don't accept reservations
for lunch, so it will be a free-for-all to get a table because I hear
it's a BUSY place on Sunday afternoon. Of course, that's because the
food is good. I have dined there once before and enjoyed every morsel.
It's an informal place with chatty servers and a homey atmosphere
typical of a college town. (Stanford is around the corner, but we
don't expect Chelsea Clinton to join us, or Kenneth Starr's daughter,
either. Stanford coaches and athletes would be more welcome.)
At my age, a birthday is a birthday is a birthday, so I want to
celebrate it in a special way because it's number 65, and I never
thought I'd make it this far. Actually, I didn't. I died three times
on an operating table in Reno, Nevada, on the night of December
3, 1993, but was brought back to life by brilliant and caring doctors
who gave me seven bypasses of the heart, the most that had been
done anywhere in the world at that time (I was told) in a single
surgery.
Four months in Intensive Care and a few months in bed finally
got me back on my feet, but not fully. I was on oxygen for two more
years and on a walker for more than that, but I have gradually recovered,
more or less.
I have asked myself many times since then why I am still here.
That is a rhetorical question, but it can be answered in all kinds
of ways. My best answer is that I was kept around to serve you through
Ben Boxer's Silverfoxes Clubhouse. I never set out to do that, but
that is the way it has evolved. I had a lot of help getting here,
and I am grateful to everyone who has done their bit. I have found
happiness in several ways, more happiness than I have ever known.
There are many, however, who are not as lucky as I.
The world is full of misery and pain. Whatever I have been through
in my life cannot begin to compare with the sufferings of others,
and one of the things that grieves me most is the terrible scourge
of HIV. I have lost friends to AIDS. I have friends who are fighting
it now. There are no doctors who can do for them what doctors did
for me the night I went out three times, and was dragged back, literally,
from the brink of the Great Unknown.
AIDS is not just a "gay" disease, as so many ignorant people believe.
It is the most widespread medical problem in Africa, for example.
In the 34 nations south of the Sahara, one out of four adults is
infected with HIV. Life expectancy has dropped in one country (Botswana)
from age 65 to 41. If that were true of me, I would have missed
the last 24 years! The African continent is home to 86 percent of
the worldwide HIV-infected population, meaning that of the 30 million
sufferers worldwde, 26 million are African. Of the soldiers in the
South African Army, 45 percent are HIV+!
These figures mean little to anyone afflicted in this way. If
it's you, it's you, not them. It is your life that counts. Yours
is the percentage that matters to you and those who love you. Would
it help to talk about it with others who find themselves in the
same boat? Or are you in love with someone who is dying from AIDS,
or do you have a friend who has tested HIV+?
For people who are in this position, I offer Matureman5 at Onelist.com
MATUREMAN5 is an e-mail list for gay or bisexual adult males of
the Silverfoxes Syndrome, i.e. men whose sexual orientation inclines
toward intergenerational love, who are also HIV+ or who are involved
with a partner or friend who is so infected or who has lost someone
to AIDS and might find comfort in associating with others who have
suffered similar loss. The purpose of this list is to provide a
forum for discussion of AIDS-related issues and the problems encountered
in dealing with it in the life experience. It is one of several
lists at Ben Boxer's Silverfoxes Clubhouse on the E-Mail Lists page.
Happy Birthday to me.
Ben Boxer
Manager of the five Matureman Lists
Clubhouse Host to
DadSon, Maturemanpix, MMMForum,
SFlaSilverFoxes, SFDADAND SON
and BimarriedMainemen
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