While surfing the net in my usual predictable but haphazard way, I came across this incredible website The Gay Senior Connection. Upon entering I chose to click on the "Boxers Shorts" icon first. I waited as the spotlights and text loaded, then the pictures started to come into view. Ben Boxer's picture intrigued me, and I pointed my cursor at his photo to get a better look. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in Ben Boxer's case, as I looked into his, I felt as though I had found a friend who would understand my story. It is 100% true, and a bit lengthy, so please, bear with me.  

Seems as though it was only yesterday. It was 1978, I was 20 years old and having the time of my life. I was in a relationship with an older gentleman, but he was uncaring, selfish and very unloving to me. He was the first person that I had sex with, and I did care for him greatly. If I had not met him, I doubt that the rest of this story would have taken place. He had mentioned to me one day about this local rest area being a place where guys would go for gay sex. Being young and horny all the time, I decided that I would investigate this closer. Sure enough, there were men pulling in and out of the rest area quite regularly. I was uncertain of the routine, but soon found it second nature. Eye up a potential candidate from the comfort and safety of my vehicle and watch as they proceded to the tiny restroom.  

Usually, if they were interested in me, they would turn and squeeze their crotch as a gesture to follow them inside. Of course it was usually always a one way encounter, as most of the men were interested in only having themselves taken care of, and were seldom willing to return the favor. The weeks that followed would find me frequenting the rest area quite regularly, and there were others who were 'regulars' as well. Of course, ask someone their names and it was the usual response of "John" or "Bob". Then again those wedding rings so many were wearing told the tale too often.  

Being in an unloving relationship had been starting to take its tole on me. I knew that he was never going to change, as that was his nature. I had come to the conclusion that I would never find anyone that would care and love me as I would care and love them. I tried several times to commit suicide, but failed at both attempts. I really thought that this is what love was all about.  

One warmer than usual March day, I was cruising the rest area, waiting for the next married man to come in for a blow job, when he pulled into the parking space next to my little red automobile. He was a very handsome, older gentleman with grey hair. As he got out of his car, I noticed he was wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans and a flannel shirt that molded nicely over his chubby belly. He walked past my vehicle, and into the restroom. I debated for a few moments, whether to follow him inside or not. He had made no gesture of any kind, but I decided to take the chance and enter. Lo and behold, I was astounded, as he was interested in taking care of me! It was not until I had finished and walked back to his car that I was able to convince him to allow me to return the favor. He was very, very nervous, and could not even get erect for the event, but he had no problem ejaculating. I had then expected him to thank me and be on his way, but instead, he wanted to talk with me. I was shocked beyond belief that he was interested in knowing about me, and told me his first and LAST name!!!  

He asked if I had eaten any dinner yet, (other than him of course) to which I replied "no". Then he asked if I would like to go get a bite to eat with him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I never had anyone at the rest area show any interest in me at all, other than sexually. We sent to a small place that is known for their chicken, and had a nice dinner and talked for about an hour. Then came the question that floored me. "Would you like to go to dinner with me on Friday night then come over to my place?" I accepted his invitation, and have been with him ever since.  

I am a regular reader of the Silver Fox Mailing List, and having been with my mature man in a closed relationship for almost 20 years now, and feel that there are some things that some readers should be aware of when they choose an older man as their life partner.  

He is now 73 years old, and I am 40. We have been through a lot together, but the present times are the toughest yet. Of course being 73 years old, a diabetic and having prostate cancer, has not made our lives any easier. The operations that he has had for his cancer have left him impotent, and his sex drive is zip, zilch, nada. I walk around the house naked and horny, rubbing myself against him in hopes of igniting some inert spark, but alas, it is no longer there. I care and love him so deeply, and will never do anything to hurt him. Being able to kiss and cuddle is something I am thankful for, but there are times when even that is uninteresting to him. Being in a now sexless situation is very difficult for me, but when I look back at all of the wonderful years that we have had together, I would not trade them for anything.  

I know that there are those who would advise me to seek out a sex partner to have on the side, but if they were in an honest, loving and caring relaionship with someone for 20 years, would their conscience allow such behavior??  

Something that has been a topic for discussion on the Sflist, is the Younger/Older debate. Basically, whether they are attracted to an older man or younger man. I guess I see it from a different perspective. I would never have been attracted to my honey if he had been a cold, uncaring man with no personality. It is so much more important to see what is on the inside, rather than look at the size of their penis.  

People just need to realize that there are a lot of other things to take into consideration, rather than the age of the person. Perhaps there are those out there who do take these other things into consideration. If you do, say it! From my point of view, it seems that some are attracted to older men, some are attracted to younger men, and don't mention what it is they are looking for in that man. If penis size is all that is important to you, well then say it. To me, you have to look at what is on the inside before considering what is on the outside.  

Well, that is my story, Ben, and some of my observations. You are welcome to do with this what you will.