I saw the opening Madonna number which I thought was jerky and then suffered through a humorless intro by a comedian who wasn't funny, and I managed to stay awake long enough to see Eminem shuffle onstage with a bunch of brothers and accept a lesser award than he expected while self-consciously reading a short list of credits and as I had never seen or heard him before I was surprised at how strange-looking and bleached out he was in the spirit of Michael Jackson who has a lot more poise and how incongruously he sounded like a brother from the streets and no wonder his mother sued his nasty white ass and then I passed out from boredom in my chair and when I woke up a few hours later my partner, who was still awake, told me that he had watched Elton do a chorus very nicely and added that Eminem was really awful and a piece of shit and hadn't rapped even one intelligible word and after their duet Eminem gave the finger to the audience and then Elton gave him a big hug and the crowd went wild with delight so now Eminem will make another billion dollars and feel empowered to continue his inspiring career until every woman has been raped and all of us queers have been killed and anybody else who ain't a brother starves to death with duct tape over his mouth, but I say that if there is any justice, before that happens Eminem will die in an avalanche of his own money whilst shagging Dr Laura's behind and then there will be peace on earth and I will never have to review the Grammys again which is nothing new because this was the first I saw since they have been around for the past 43 years.

My partner and I are now watching a re-run of "The Exorcist" which is much funnier and more enlightening and has more class than anything I saw on the Grammys.

THE END