NOTE: A 28-year-old man wrote to me recently and said he has always dreamed of sexual relations with an older guy but "never had the balls to do so." He went on to tell me how frightened he is and has passed up opportunities because of it. Still, he is anxious to try. Here is my reply: ===================

Unfulfilled dreams have a way of hanging around for years, growing more painful with the passage of time.

They can create a nameless stress in our emotional infrastructure that may negatively impact the relationships we DO achieve along the way. Lend your body and your heart to some kind and caring older man at least long enough to give your fantasies a chance to become real rather than remaining frighteningly surreal.

I learned a lesson once from someone I wanted sexually but thought I could never get. Through a series of unexpected circumstances, however, I suddenly found myself in his arms. After we had made passionate love, he confessed that he had secretly wanted me, too, adding words I won't ever forget.

"At least now," he said, "we know what it's like."

That should be your goal. To find out what it's like so it won't be an unsolved mystery anymore, a loose end dangling before you, a fishing line that never reels in a fish. Then you can get on with your life.

Despite whatever cultural or religious brainwashing you may have suffered, it is not wrong to love another of your own sex. It is a naturally occurring phenomenon in an unknown percentage of universal humanity. It is an instinct in some of us, an inexorable drive from the depths of our libido, a truth of our being about which most of mankind and his/her religions remain obstinately ignorant or disapproving despite all the evidence to the contrary.

You have a right to be yourself. Go for it.

THE END

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