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silverfoxesclub-digest In this issue:
-Humor, Alcohol Warnings.
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Subject: Humor, Alcohol Warnings.
ALCOHOL WARNINGS
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have
accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your trousers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary (whose name and/ or species you can't
remember)
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 01:36:34 -0800
Ben Boxer comments: We will see a
lot more of this during the next four
years -- people of conscience
rebelling individuallly against
homophobia and speaking out,
forcing those who intend to continue
discriminating against us to also
speak out in defense of their
indefensible position. Thus, our
enemies will reveal themselves. It is
better to know who they are and
where they are so the challenge they
present to us can be met head on
instead of allowing them to sneak
around doing damage behind the
scenes.
Headline:
(The Sun Spot, 11/18/00)
Text:
The Rev. Bob Edgar apologized
yesterday morning to the General
Assembly of the NCC, meeting this
week in Atlanta, for not adequately
consulting the organization or the 36
member denominations before
signing the Christian Declaration on
Marriage, which was released at a
Washington news conference
Wednesday. Edgar said several NCC
members had interpreted the
document, which defines marriage as
"a holy union of one man and one
woman," as a condemnation of
same-sex unions.
The NCC is generally considered to
be more liberal than the leaders of
the other three organizations that
signed the marriage document - the
U.S. Catholic Bishops, the Southern
Baptist Convention and the National
Association of Evangelicals - all of
which oppose same-sex unions.
The NCC - which includes the
Episcopal Church, the Presbyterian
Church (U.S.A.), the United
Methodist Church, the Evangelical
Lutheran Church in America, the
Orthodox churches, most black
Baptist groups and other churches -
has taken no position on same-sex
unions but has a long-standing policy
advocating full civil rights for
homosexuals. Its members have a
range of views on sexuality, and
several denominations are wrestling
internally with the issue.
"A number of the NCC member
communions interpret the document
more as a condemnation of same-sex
unions than as an affirmation of
marriage," Edgar wrote to leaders of
the three other groups who signed
the document. "The fact that the
declaration omits mention of
same-sex unions is taken by some as
proof that all of the signatories
disapprove of such unions.
"Further, I am concerned that in our
dangerously fragmented and violent
society, misinterpretation of the
declaration may be used by some as
a pretext for attacks on gay and
lesbian persons."
Richard Land, president of the
Ethics & Religious Liberty
Commission of the Southern Baptist
Convention said he was
"disappointed, but only mildly
surprised" by Edgar's action.
"I was more surprised that he was
willing to sign the document to begin
with," Land said. "I didn't think I
was as familiar with his constituency
as he is, but I suspected that this
document would be very
controversial among elements of his
constituents, and evidently, he thinks
so now, too."
The incident shows how difficult a
task Edgar has before him in
implementing his plan to dissolve the
NCC in favor of a new organization
that would include Catholics,
evangelicals and Pentecostals, none
of them members of the NCC. The
NCC General Assembly passed a
resolution yesterday calling for a
meeting of Christian denominations
next year as a first step toward
creating the entity.
Land, for one, remains skeptical: "If
affirmation of same-sex unions is the
price" for joining with the NCC's
ecumenical vision, "then it's too high
a price and one that won't be paid by
the growing and healthy Christian
communions in this millennium."
Subject: Humor, Computer viruses
With the Navidad virus brouhaha seemingly at rest I thought I'd send
this list of viruses for a laugh. Also attached small gif for those who
collect gay symbols for their webpages.
Dave aka luvhog
Ellen Degeneres virus.....Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC
Monica Lewinsky virus.....Sucks all the memory out of your computer
Titanic virus.....Makes your whole computer go down
Disney virus.....Everything in the computer goes Goofy
Mike Tyson virus.....Quits after one byte
Lorena Bobbit virus.....Turns your hard disk into a 3.5-inch floppy
Tim Allen virus.....Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive
Woody Allen virus.....Bypasses the motherboard and turns on daughter
card
Saddam Hussein virus.....Won't let you into any of your programs
Tonya Harding virus.....Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
Joey Buttafuoco virus.....Only attacks minor files
X-files virus.....All your Icons start shape-shifting
Ronald Reagan virus.....Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus.....Deletes your old files
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