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Silverfoxesclub-digest In this issue: -Be Cautious/House Deed Help (continued in Digest 288)
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Hi Everyone, I lost my partner of 23 years last year to cancer. He had always told me that he had taken care of everything in his Will. After his death, his son and the lawyers have made life for me sheer hell. I realize that many families do this kind of thing, but of course the courts look differently at a son or daughter than someone who was his 'partner'. If you are with a partner who has childern, be warned. If or when something happens to that partner, regardless of how close you may feel you are to his children, things will change, and not for the better.
Take care
Hi All,
Thanks
NOTE from Ben Boxer: Perhaps someone can advise Mike better than I, but I do know that setting up a Revocable Living Trust can ease the situation immensely as it includes what might normally be in a Will and does not go through probate and is as effective during your lifetimes as after the death of one partner. No lousy relatives can interfere. This is certainly true in California where I used to know very wealthy people, and it was common practice among them to protect themselves and their heirs---especially non-legally-related ones, in this way. Perhaps someone on the list knows of a gay organization on the Web which could field questions from Mike and perhaps assist in doing something for him. I have known him for a long time time, since well before his
previous partner passed. They had a wonderful love match of a marriage, and it's a pity Mike was not correctly cared for in the estate as he contributed a great deal toward the partnership---which is something all who share lives with a partner should be conscious of. Dying intestate or without having prepared some kind of notarized documentation acknowledging your intent for your partner is like the current AIDS conference at the UN agreeing NOT to even mention gays and lesbians in their study---as if we don't exist and are too much of an embarrassment to notice. Many families of our partners are like that, so please do what you can for your own and please help Mike if you can. Thanks.
Hi Korki,
laverne Hi, I'd like to reply to Korki S: You might want to check out this book: Gay Finances in a Straight World, by Peter M. Berkery and Gregory A. Diggins. The book is published by Macmillan and it sells for $19.95 (probably less on Amazon). The chapter on Estate planning might be helpful. There is also a good chapter titled Incapacity Planning. My partner and I have found it to be very useful. Also, last week someone posted a website to find gay-friendly doctors. Is there a similar site for gay-friendly lawyers? That might be helpful too.
Danman
I have no idea if the law is the same in Illinois as it is in Canada. Here if the title lists both owners "as joint tenants and not as tenants in common", then if one owner dies the title automatically goes to the other owner. You may find that there is a self-help real estate law guide available for your state and that should explain how to set up things as you want. What we did (in California) was have the house set up as a Joint Tenancy in Common. This was done by a lawyer, but you could also check out Nolo Press, as they have (I believe) the appropriate forms. Then we had the title to the house in both our names. This was done at the State. You should also probably have the mortgage in both your names to avoid any future confusion. Also, each of you needs to have a Will that specifies that your partner inherits the house.
Hope this helps.
Hi Korki & guys, As for gay or gay-friendly lawyers, you might want to check out the Gay Yellow Pages or your nearest big city gay newspaper. Have a look at any of the gay advocacy groups websites, too - HRC, GLAAD, PFLAG - they are sure to have links. Hope this helps. And, as Ben said, please do the wills - that is MOST important for each of you.
Hugz,
best consult a lawyer, gay friendly or not, they are supposed to be
impartial doing this kind of thing. After all,,it is not like you are asking
him to participate in your lives beyond giving you legal advice. And also,
why should your lifestyle even be mentioned? And if both of you are working,
then both should be named on the deed just as if you were brothers, father
and son or any combination. A year ago, my lover just warrant deeded a house
he bought for us in another city. Also,,a will should be prepared for both
of you,,and updated every time you buy or acquire anything new of worth.
The lawyer again. You need to check with a lawyer in the state where you
reside. At least in New Hampshire, Maine, and Mass, "tenants in common"
results in your share in real estate going where your will says, but through
probate, and "joint tenants with rights of survivorship" results in it going
to the survior without probate. Other states have different "magic words".
Hi Mike,
Bob End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #287
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