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Silverfoxesclub-digest
Thursday, June 14 2001
Volume 01 : Number 271
In this issue:
-Humor: Rules for bedroom golf
-Re: Re Fanny
-Red Neck Haiku
-Humor: Rude, Crude Pick-up Lines
-Humor: Q.E.D.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Big-ol-Bearcub@webtv.net
Subject: Humor: Rules for bedroom golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for
play - normally one
club and two balls
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of
the hole
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club
in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole
4. For most effective play, the club should have a
firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club
length to avoid damage to the hole
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes
as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is
complete
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole
immediately upon
arrival at this course
8. The experienced player will normally take time to
admire the entire
course with special attention to well-formed bunkers
9. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses
they have played
or are currently playing to the owner of the course begin played.
Upset
course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this
reason
10. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for
their own
protection
11. Players should assure themselves that their match has
been properly
scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first
time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they
discover someone
else playing on what they consider to be a private course
12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's
permission before
attempting to play the back nine
13. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be
prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily at the course owner's
request
14. It is considered outstanding performance, time
permitting, to play
the same hole several times in one match
15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who are the
best players
------------------------------
From: RKO6569@aol.com
Subject: Re: Fanny
jaime@spiritone.com writes:
Also I believe that he wrote the Manon of the Spring series.
James,
Yes, Pagnol also wrote these works - Jean de Florette and Manon of the Spring
(Manon des sources). The books are wonderful, and the films made by Claude
Berri in 1986, with superb actors and actresses (Yves Montand, Girard
Depardieu, Daniel Auteuil, among many), are not to be missed. Well, I'm crazy
for French films, anyway...
Fred in Boston
------------------------------
From: "richard merrill" tioricardo@mediaone.net
Subject: Red Neck Haiku
TITHING
tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
to Jimmy Swaggert
BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps
DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy want wrestling doll
Mama whups his ass
IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino
ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order
------------------------------
From: "luvhog" luvhog@ameritech.net
Subject: Humor: Rude, Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking
to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Bed Thrasher: have you seen
one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest man on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you
all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. (Lick finger and wipe on his shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
clothes.
14. You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light
switch away.
15. Is that real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for
that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Larry Tightbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
31. If we were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this
cheap motel room.
------------------------------
From: dhljr1999@webtv.net
Subject: Humor: Q.E.D.
A gay couple is driving along one afternoon, and while stopped at a
stop sign, they are rear ended by a big semi. Furiously, the guy in
the passenger side gets out of the car, goes back to the truck and
starts banging on the door. The truck driver opens the door and the
gay guy says, "I'm gonna sue your ass, Buddy!"
The truck driver, laughs and says, "Suck my dick!" The gay guy
stands there for a second, then his eyes get really big and his face
lights up. He runs back to the car, and says excitedly to his
lover, "You won't believe it, he wants to settle out of court!"
------------------------------
End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #271
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