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Silverfoxesclub-digest In this issue:
-Tallulah!
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Ben, I love your column on Tallulah!--I never saw her live, but my (gay, I think) mother adored her, and we listened on radio or TV--I loved her very "marsh-mallowy" (is that a word?) song at the end of her radio program, "May the Good Lord Bless and Keep You"--I suspect the Good Lord was fuming at the use of his name on those lips! I recall the review (I think it was by the NYT great reviewer Brooks Atkinson) of her "Cleopatra," "Last night Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile, and sank." I also remember her incredible, wonderful, throaty, bourbon and cigarette-baritone laugh!--including the story of the show in which she was frustrated that her leading man was "stealing the scene" when she was to enter--and so she devised the technique of starting her laugh offstage, and by the time she entered, the audience was cheering her--forgetting that star man was even there-- I have a dear friend now (who shall, of course, be nameless) who is the only woman (the only person!) I know whose _laugh_ is like Tallulah's--I love just being in the room with this friend, to hear that rich, wonderful sound, and remember times when we thought it was ok to drink too much and smoke too much and be wonderfully convivial. Thanks for all you do for us. and happy 2001!
Santa A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat. The Hippie looks over and asks the Nun if she would have sex with him. The Nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the but starts on its way the bus driver says to the hippie,if you want I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you. The hippie of course says that hed love to know so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,said the bus driver guy, you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you. Well the Hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. And right on schedule the nun shows up. When shes in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on the nun. After the Hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out,
Ha ha, Im the hippie!! The nun replied by whipping
off his mask and shouting, Ha ha, Im the bus driver!!
Hi Ben,
Getty
There are lots of 'puter papas on this list, and maybe some of them want to
share savvy with you. I am posting your letter here at the Silverfoxes Club
to let them know of your request. Maybe you will hear from someone.
Greetings and salutations to one and all,
Secondly, I would like to let everyone know that I will be posting a second story, "The Unexpected" in the not too distant future. I hope you all enjoy this one as much as the last. Lastly, I've got a situation that needs help. Normally I don't request help on emotional issues, I give it. But this time it's different. Allow me to elaborate and share my feelings... My lover and I have been together for almost 8 months. He's a wonderful man and I love him very very much. We spent Christmas together, I even took him to meet my previous lover and they got along great, which pleased me to no end. We spent New Years together and it was wonderful. We've had no major arguments since we've been together (I know it hasn't been very long) and we get along wonderfully. But here's my problem. Last Saturday, we were sitting in our living room, watching TV and just relaxing before he had to go into work that night. In the early afternoon, there was a knock on the front door. I didn't know who it was and neither did he. I looked through the peep hole and saw a young woman standing on the front doorstep. I didn't recognize her and so he answered the door, thinking that it was perhaps the neighbors coming over to ask a favor of us, as they have in the past. However, when he opened the door, he stared at the young woman's face and although he didn't recognize her at first, he quickly realized who was standing there. It was his eldest daughter to whom he hadn't spoken in five years due to a quarrel they had. She and her boyfriend and one of his friends decided to stop by since they had actually been in the neighborhood visiting friends. My lover and his daughter talked and chatted up a storm. She thought he was mad at her, he knew she was mad at him, and she couldn't remember the incident that had sparked it all, although the memory was vivid in my lover's memory. Anyway, she has come back into his life. Although this may not seem like a problem, his daughter is exactly six years my senior (we share the same birthday); it was bizarre hearing someone else call my lover "Dad" and actually mean it; and in the past, from what he's told me, every time his daughter came back into his life, his lover left him. I feel strange, I don't know what to feel. This is the first time that I've ever been in love with someone who actually has biological children. I would've preferred not to have met her, but I did. I knew he had children going into this relationship, I just never expected to ever meet one of them. He's been in shock after her visit and we all (myself, my lover, his daughter, and her new boyfriend) had dinner tonight, at which I was uncomfortable and rather quiet. I just don't know what to think. I know that this may not seem like much of a problem to some or most of you, but I don't know what to think or feel right now. I expressed my concerns to my lover, and after that, he told me about his past lovers and how none of them ever got along with his daughter. He's now worried that I might do the same. I will admit, when we first arrived at the restaurant, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and just try to calm down. While in the bathroom, the thought of leaving him flashed through my mind. I quickly dismissed it and told myself that I love him too much to ever leave him over something like this. But I need help... If anyone out there can hear my plea and can help, please do...
Sincerely, I wanted to reply to Peter's email to him directly and to the list. My partner has 2 sons and 5 grandkids. One of his sons has no problem with us and his first wife didn't either. However his other son does along with his wife and his other sons 2nd wife does as well. Needless to say when he goes down to visit them I do not go. It honestly is hard for me to relate to them as I take him with me to my families get togethers. I am now 30 and he is now 55. My family knows my taste in men lean toward older men. We met when I was 22 and he was 48. It really is hard at times when he goes down to visit his kids but I will not let that come between us. Peter, I do believe that if you truly care for your new found partner that you will open up to his daughter as she is and will always be his daughter and he will always be her father.
When me and my partner met he stated, "I am not interested in being your dad
or father", as he already raised kids
Just don't rush out the door right away give it time. You may discover that
you will end up having a wonderful instant family without having to go thru
the pains of birth
Sincerely,
Dear Peter,
We all eventually became adults, and there were some awkward moments, since
his children obviously figured out the fact that we were lovers... Afterall,
I had moved across the country to live with him, and there were only able to
come and visit about once a year for a few weeks.
One of the problems we had was resentment. They wanted to have him the
entire time they were with him. I was insecure enough at that age that I
resented it and was jealous. Fortunately, I outgrew that, and realized that
they were a part of his life LONG before I came along, and they certainly
DESERVED his time... So long as I wasn't completely regected or left out.
And he was very fair. I just had to learn that this man that I loved had a
responsibility as a father, and for me to resent that or try to diminish it
was nothing short of grossly selfish.
Again, I was very young. Fortunately, he was older and (much) wiser. He
helped me to understand that I had no reason to feel insecure or slighted.
The love a parent has for their children is an entirely different love that
he has for his "boy" or partner.
I had to learn that our hearts have no "limit" on it's capacity for love.
The love he has for his children has absolutely nothing to do with his love
for you... Both are full and rich and glorious and valid and complete. Do
not feel like you have to "compete". Also, do not feel like you have to hide
or apologize. Share in everything he wishes you to share in, and be
comfortable in your relationship with him. Don't be at all embarrassed, or
feel any need to "apologize". But you must also be comfortable if there are
times when father and child do some things together. Be happy for him that
he's on the road to regaining communication with his child. This is
WONDERFUL news for him! Celebrate it with him, let him know that you are
pleased for him. Don't be jealous... Again, for there is no REASON for you
to be jealous.
It's good for him. Given time, it will be good for you too, and you might be
surprised... Over time, if you display comfort and security with her and
their relationship, you may well find that you'll become very good friends.
After four years with my first lover, he passed away. His daughter (that I
had competed with) spent the last six months of his life with him. My
parents (the world's biggest rednecks, or so I thought) moved down to spend
the last month of his life with him. They were all wiser and more kind than
I had any idea they could ever be. Once I got comfortable with myself and
our relationship, everybody else did too.
Good luck.
Terry in KC
In a message dated 1/1/01 9:21:43 PM, TexasPenguin writes:
...I've got a situation that needs help. Normally I don't request help
on emotional issues.....
Terry,
George of Boston.
My web site
has information on the CR Cruise in June 2001.
We were talking on the list over the weekend
about author Gore Vidal. I mentioned that his
novel, "The City and the Pillar," was the first
gay book of its type that I had ever read -- when
I was entering puberty. The recent revival of his
prize-winning play, "The Best Man," which was
also a film, has commanded a lot of attention on
Broadway. Our fellow subscriber, Edward of
New York City and Washington City (as one of
my grandmothers who lived there called the
national capital in D.C. to distinguish it from the
state), had the pleasure of seeing the play
performed last November.
Then today I ran across a picture of Vidal that
recalled a story about him to mind. I'd like to
share it with you. He admits to bisexuality, by the
way, but I am inclined to think he is closer to
being all-gay than he wants the world to believe.
It was no bisexual who wrote "The City and the
Pillar"! He is presently a silverfox of 75 and
looked damn good in a PBS-TV production a
few years ago of his comments while touring
Venice.
The story I want to tell evolved from his
relationship to Jackie O. Jackie, AKA Jacqueline
Bouvier Kennedy, former First Lady of the
United States, became the stepdaughter of
socialite Hugh Auchincloss when her mother,
Janet, married him in Jackie's girlhood.
Auchincloss was also the stepfather of Gore
Vidal from a previous marriage. Thus, the two
became stepbrother and stepsister in a
circuitous manner typical of this age of divorce.
They also became close friends. It was Vidal who
told the story of the First Lady's meeting with
Pope John XXIII. It seems that the affable old
pope, a truly Christian gentleman whom it was
my great honor to interview in company with
other journalists at the Vatican in 1961, was in a
dither as to how he should address the American
First Lady when she arrived for a private
audience while touring Rome. Although the most
famous woman in the world and a Roman
Catholic, as well, she bore no officlal title as the
wife of the president of a democratic country. It
was decided that she should be greeted simply as
"Mrs. Kennedy." Composing himself with
dignity as befitted his high office, Pope John's
serious mien melted into a beatific smile the
instant she was ushered into the room. Throwing
wide his arms, His Holiness rushed toward her
with a cry of "Jackie! Cara! (Darling!)" and
embraced her like a daughter.
The story about Jackie and Vidal, however, has
quite a different theme. At Jackie's invitation,
Vidal was a guest one evening at a White House
reception where he stood chatting with the First
Lady and other friends. His arm was draped
casually around her, somewhat below the waist
so that his hand touched her in an intimate
manner. Along came her brother-in-law, Bobby
Kennedy, who was Attorney General of the
United States during his brother's
administration. Slightly in his cups, he stopped
short and took in the scene before his eyes. With
a broad gesture, he slapped Vidal's arm away
and muttered, "No goddam faggot puts his hand
on Jackie's ass!" So much for passing as
bisexual!
Yes, this is really me, Boston Bill, at home in a super large hammock
from Merida, Yucatan. The size you see here is called "matrimonial".
When I went to the hammock factory to buy this, I told them I wanted
a hammock "para dos gorditos", thus taking advantage of an unusual
(for Spanish) gender ambiguity. Most Spanish nouns and adjectives
used as nouns are quite specific about the gender of the item being named.
For example:
el gordo = the fat man.
la gorda = the fat woman.
Therefore, literally, the expression
para dos gorditos = for two fatties, both males.
But, if you want to say "for two fatties, one man fatty and one woman fatty",
you say the same thing:
para dos gorditos.
The reason I wanted a hammock big enough for two fat men was to have
sufficient room for one fat silverfox and one trim foxhunter to have plenty
of room to play. So, my friends, come to my house to play this New Year:
mi hammock es tu hammock.
George of Boston.
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End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #95
|
Attached is a collage I made of a photo of Vidal
as he looks today, holding his pet cat, combined
with a photo taken at a Kennedy Inaugural Ball
(there were several on one night) in Washington
in 1961. A young Vidal, in the middle, is shown
with the President and the First Lady. I wonder
whom they were dishing that night?