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In this issue:
-Is a top more of a man than a bottom? (12)
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Hello Men ...
I ask this because it seems in our Gay culture the guy that is the TOP type
takes on the "male" role in the relationship..
A Top can mount a Bottom on the bottom - a Bottom can mount a Top from the top. Reciprocity in position, Mom & Poppity in tradition. Hopefully most relationships are not stuck in the quagmire of crippling, imagined proper Gay social moral manner.
Dick According to the straight world you're "less of a man" for having gay sex in the first place. Sure there are some people who are solely "bottom" and others who only "top" but either role doesn't make you any less of a man - many gay men don't have penetrative sex at all - does that make them more of a man than those who do? IMHO what you do in bed has nothing to do with manliness - it's just sex. In addition, what society defines as manliness is extremely subjective.
Pewit I believe Rogue is pretty close to the truth here. I'm a top but because I used to get fucked I am much better in giving pleasure while also taking it. And if I'd ever learned to enjoy it as much as most of the men I've fucked over the years, I'd probably roll over on my back with my legs in the air for every sexy man I met. When I was in my late 20's I began to fuck men who had orgasms from being fucked and the orgasms were as intense as women's orgasms..stronger than mine or other top men have..and mine are damned good..and I tried for a while to learn how. One guy in Tucson came close to giving me orgasms but his lover objected so that stopped...hi, Jim, hope you're still alive, well, handsome and sexy..you were a hot little bastard.
When I had a lover a few years back, I got fucked
sometimes, mostly because I didn't want him to feel
that I was the man in the relationship..and I thought
that I'd be with him and in love for the rest of my
life..amazing how stupid we remain where our emotions
are involved...but it was great sex and it was true
love, just not for ever. First thing's first--doesn't matter who the 'top' or 'bottom' is in a relationship--it should be equal. I know "butch" bottom men (I know they exist, but, I've never actually met one)--I'm hoping to get lucky eventually with one chap up in Boston at the moment... So, I guess the answer to your question is "NO"..Some of us happen to be "Super Butch" which is kind of a problem sometimes as gay people would never assume we're gay also, so if they don't ask, they'd never know. People around here (Christian Breeders) keep a lookout for "Single, 30+ men with moustaches" as for some reason or another they think all gay men have moustaches, and if they haven't gotten married by the age of 18, they're automatically gay. By "here" I mean the Military-types. All of them have 4 kids, a pregnant wife, go to church twice a week, and hate us (gays)... I think the "straights" are the one who put this stigma on "tops" (being the "man" in a relationship". I never treat my partners like they're less of a man than me. In fact, I treat them the complete opposite--shower them with love and affection, and that (LOVE) is all that's needed in a good relationship. The "Gay Heloise" will sign off now...
David
My personal opinion is that it takes more of a man to bottom... It takes a great deal more committment, preperation and fortitude. Shoving ones cock in a warm hole does not take a great deal of effort or preperation.
I am a big fan of being both, as I said earlier today.... but no doubt it,
being a bottom takes a great deal more work. This question is only really relevant if you compare gay men with a straight couple. As a woman can only receive, and a man can only give in straight sex then the correlation to the gay world suggests that a bottom is more femine and a top is more masculine. However, we are gay men and have totally different criteria to the straight world. Therefore I think it is totally irrelevant to compare two gay men with a man/ woman relationship. Plus I'd like to add that yes, I've met some submissive bottoms that were a little effeminate. But I have also met some incredibly butch and masculine bottoms too. They are the ones that really turn me on! I'm sure as well that there are some effeminate tops out there too. To suggest that a top is more than a man than a bottom is little more than stereotyping. Let's not forget that being gay means that a man has sex with another man. Therefore we are all 'men', regardless of whether we go top or bottom. Respect to your fellow man! (top or bottom),
Chas
I remember as a young teen, probably about fourteen, I found myself having snatched a copy of my older brothers Penthouse letters. Largely straight as a volume, but there were a few men that were bold enough to write about their m2m experiences. This was water to my Midwestern adolescent homosexual thirst. One man was bold enough to write about his experience in Turkey. His words suggested that it was a bit difficult to find a man with desires similar to his, but then again he was not quite sure at that time what exactly what those desires were. Thankfully, a hairy fellow of olive complexion helped him figure it out, and while it might have been a purely physical and temporary romance, his tale of it was enough to make my adolescent heart race and beat right through my chest. I have been fascinated ever since. According to his take on things, the man was immensely gentle, affectionate and a lover to end all lovers. Good for him. I dream of this fellow still to this day! Turns out that this man became the lover of his Turkish partner and, so far as I know, they still live together... and fuck like bunnies every chance they get. I believe it might perhaps be time for a trip to Turkey. (Sigh.) In fact, I am going to start packing now.
Terry in KC I am amused at the messages that I have read re'bottoms" Personally with the right man I like to go both ways. In my view it is best to relax first.Kiss the guy even to the point of getting him to climax. With his cock between your thighs. When you suck him however,slide a couple of fingers up his ass,and massage the prostate. Don't use too much lube,just enough to enable you to enter easily. its also a good idea if the man pushes towards you when you are entering.Once you are in him. Pause a while,just moving slowly,and go from side to side,that will give him the greatest pleasure. of course it can hurt,but if you really enjoy the thought of another man pleasuring you,then in time you will be able to relax,the muscles, and enjoy the ride. being a Top is Ok but you can miss a lot of fun. Personally nowadays I call myself versatile. At 78 I have had a lot of experience. When I was younger(19)I had men who just wanted to screw me,and they would come out and go and wash and leave me to wank if I wanted to. On the other hand there were those who said to me the best way of all is to take it and give it. That way you are an equal partn er. If you meet a man who wants to be fucked and is what he would term a bottom,then you are capable. if on the other hand you meet a man you desire,and he wants to fuck you. That's Ok because you have experienced both worlds. Age in all this is relative. Where once I only wanted men of my own age or older. Now I am just as happy being with a 30 yr old or an older man. Times Change
Hugs Hi MEN! I have read with interest about this topic. Yes, I think a bottom (a true bottom) is less MAN than a top. I'm 56 years old and have been a devoted bottom for 40 years and learned and enjoyed to give pleasure. When I was 14 I have been penetrated by a much older man, he was over 60 at that time. I shall never forget the pain I felt first and the joy afterwards when I saw his happiness after he filled me. He was my lover for almost 10 years until he died. During my gay life I tried to be a top several times, just to please a lover, but I never really enjoyed it; maybe because I'm a bit less man than the real tops. I have a steady lover in his 60's and we enjoy Foxhunters together. I love to give myself to a hard stud, satisfy him and be "woman". It often has great advantages being a "woman", specially with my lover. I can endulge in sex with other men, even wank myself off after having received his load and still be a good lover for my partner. Just like a woman! He has to perform! I only have to give myself! I love to be less MAN by opening my legs for him and others as often as I want. I love to be a sister, used by MEN and more often than not thrown away after sex. Some of us are just like whores and I enjoy it! I love you all, MEN!!
Kisses Claudia, darling...that is your experience on the whole thing and does not include all of us who prefer to bottom. I am every bit of a man when I am being fucked and so are most of the bottoms I know. Top or bottom is purley a designation and has nothing to do with being more of a man, how you react when you are fucking or being fucked is entirely up to the individual.
Sincerely Since tops are so popular I am experimenting with being a top. Results are encouraging, if you were a bottom as I was, think of what you liked best and work on duplicating it. More and more I am liking the sensation of being in a guy; yeh it feels good, the body heat and the pressure on your cock. First experiments were fumbles but the last two guys really had a good time (and so did I). OK my first choice is bottom but topping has added new versitility to my sexual encounters. Do not force your self to do it, but if you experiment you might find a new dimension.
Wes
One day, you might be able to take one pill, get a erection, and play tennis afterwards! hehe Edward Drugs Like Viagra May Help Arthritis
The same chemical mechanism Viagra uses to stimulate men might someday
help people suffering from a variety of conditions, such as arthritis,
allergies and diabetes. Viagra is part of a class of drugs that inhibit
chemicals called phosphodiesterases. These chemicals are found in many
different tissues and play key roles in vision, smell, insulin levels and
possibly learning and memory. Viagra very selectively inhibits a
phosphodiesterase found in the penis. That phosophodiesterase, if
uninhibited, lowers the levels of the chemical cyclic GMP that causes
erections. Other phosphodiesterases lower the levels of a signal molecule
similar to cyclic GMP found in the immune system. Investigators are
studying whether inhibiting these chemicals might have an affect on
anti-immune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis or hyper-inflammatory
conditions like allergies. Many phosphodiesterases were only discovered
within the last year. Researchers presenting their studies at the annual
meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in San
Francisco caution that considerable work needs to be done to find other
drugs that inhibit specific phosphodiesterases.
End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #149
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