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In this issue:
-Sock Intrigue (3)
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Dear Ben and All, Do they all have drafty houses? Can.t they afford central heating? Don.t they clean their floors? I mean to say, unprotected anal sex wearing socks. What are they worried about . a terminal case of athlete.s foot? Or is it just passion? . got everything off but forgot the socks. Got their rocks off but not the socks. Is it because I.m not American and just don.t understand? Now, I can understand outside shots . but indoors. Is it some sort of secret, arcane message? Do they all belong to a club and I.m not a member? Help me out here people, I need to know what.s going on!
Crazed with Curiosity,
Ps Love the Clubhouse, but why the socks?
Obviously, you are a gentleman. Takes one to know one. It's simple, really. In this age of relaxed haberdashery, many of the symbols of a cultivated gent in Western civilization have passed away: silver-tipped cane, kid gloves, spats, Homburg hat. Of course, some of you Brits -- presuming you are one of those favored souls -- still cling to brollys and bowlers and perhaps even to tailors on Saville Row, but in the United States, we've bowed to the tenor of the times and gone piggy or, as you say, "bollock" naked, perhaps in the mistaken belief that if we are to grab the world by the balls, we must show that we are possessed of bollocks of our own. The white socks. Ah, yes! Do you remember the white handkerchief we used to fold neatly in the left-breast outer pocket of a suit as a sign of lordly haute couture? Only the flamboyant resorted to other than white -- gays in bright colors, or the Ascot crowd in sombre hues with matching cravat. We of the nouvelle nude have translated that white hankie to white socks, which is to say that although our bollocks may swing in the face of the world, you would know us as high-toned gents if we were to wear clothing. White socks also represent a call for safe sex in this age of AIDS, being a visual euphemism for condoms, as in "cock sox." I will admit that they may also be a fetish for some, but for others, they inspire nostalgia. Remember those early-morning jack-off sessions in puberty days when it was handy to reach from the bed to the floor for the white athletic socks tucked into your tennis shoes and to use them for wiping the cum from your belly? You knew your Mom never inspected those smelly things before tossing them into the laundry. Yes, you had safe sex even then! Lastly, white sox on naked men are a symbol of universal brotherhood. No matter the color of anyone's skin, everybody's semen is white!
Ben Boxer
Hi guys, this is my first contribution to the list. I am a 34 yr old "foxhunter" living in Scotland & was amused by the debate on socks. When I was going through puberty, my nightly routine included wanking & shooting into one of the socks worn that day, using the other as a "jacket" to keep any dribbles off the sheets. That was until one morning my mother suddenly asked me: "Andrew, why are your socks always wet?" "Because my feet sweat a lot", I blustered, going beetroot red, as I lied. It was her way of letting me know that SHE knew & to cease forthwith, which I did! Nobody, not even a mother, takes too much notice of soiled hankies!
Regards to all,
P.S. Boston Bill rocks! Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. No one is listening until you make a mistake. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. If you haven't much education you must use your brain. Never mess up an apology with an excuse. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. Some days you're the bird, some days you're the windshield. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a raindance. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. Tact is the ability to tell him to go to hell and have him be happy to be on his way. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no
lifeguard.
End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #138
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