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Silverfoxesclub-digest
Sunday, December 31 2000
Volume 01 : Number 093

In this issue:

-irreverence
-Robert Downey Jr. in gay rehab clinic
-(Joke) Urine Test

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Date: Sat, 30 Dec 2000 22:33:24
From: "Jim The Musician" cantiga@hotmail.com

Subject: irreverence

Happy New Year to all!

Just had to forward at least ONE thing, since it has been ages since I sent anything

Jim

"I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer."

- --Brendan Behan (1923 - 1964) Irish dramatist, author Recalled on his death, 20 Mar 1964.
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Date: Sun, 31 Dec 2000 02:39:32 -0800
From: "Ben Boxer" benboxer@mediaone.net

Subject: Robert Downey Jr. in gay rehab clinic

Ben Boxer comments, tongue in cheek, on the article below: Yeah, sure! Obviously, there are no other rehab clinics in Los Angeles.

Headline:
Robert Downey Jr. to check in to L.A. gay and lesbian rehab clinic
(The Advocate, 12/30/00)

Text:
Robert Downey Jr. to check in to L.A. gay and lesbian rehab clinic Although he claims he is straight, troubled actor Robert Downey Jr. plans to check in to a Los Angeles gay and lesbian rehab clinic, reports the New York Post. If he can avoid returning to jail, the actor, who was busted for drug and weapons possession, has allegedly told associates he plans to check in to the Van Ness Recovery House, a widely respected detox facility for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered drug addicts. Sources say Downey chose this facility because of its renown and because he has stayed there in the past, not because he is gay or bisexual.
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Date: Sun, 31 Dec 2000 02:00:30 -0800
From: "Ben Boxer" benboxer@mediaone.net Subject: (Joke) Urine Test

Forwarded in behalf of Michael, an English silverfox of great charm and dry wit who lives in San Francisco and is an authority on all things great and wonderful in that fair city. He is the man behind the newsy "Twin Peeks" column at the Silverfoxes Clubhouse.

He wishes you a Happy New Year by means of the attached card, and offers a laugh to cheer your holiday in the joke below.

Urine Test

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better

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End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #93
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