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Silverfoxesclub-digest In this issue:
-Maine Governor/Gay Rights Supporters Pose Question
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 8 Dec 2000 12:33:09 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Maine Governor and Gay Rights Supporters Pose a Question
From today's NY Times.
Edward
Maine Governor and Gay Rights Supporters Pose a Question
AUGUSTA, Me., Dec. 7 - In the punishing chill of late afternoon, near
sunset, more than 100 gay rights advocates and the popular governor of
Maine gathered on the State House steps in frustration today, asking, as
they put it, what was wrong with their state.
That is, why has Maine, alone among New England states, failed to pass a
law barring discrimination against gay men and lesbians?
It was the most public, though not the first, soul-searching by Gov.
Angus King, an independent, since an antidiscrimination proposal on the
state ballot was defeated last month by just 4,000 votes out of a half-
million cast.
"I've wrestled with the question of, `What does this vote mean?' "
Governor King, a vocal supporter of the failed proposal, told the
red-nosed, numb-toed crowd. "Does it mean that 50.1 percent of the people
of Maine don't like gay people? I don't believe it. That doesn't jibe
with my experience with Maine people."
Rather, he said, he believed the problem was that advocates had failed to
convince Maine residents that there was really a need for a law banning
discrimination. One poll, he recalled, found that a majority of Maine
people believed such a law was already on the books.
One used to be. But in 1998, in a one-issue referendum, Maine became the
only state to repeal its law banning discrimination against gay people.
At the time, supporters of gay rights attributed that outcome to the high
turnout among Christian conservatives.
This election, however, brought high turnout all around, and polls had
predicted a strong victory for the ban on discrimination.
What happened? Mr. King wrestled painfully with that question right after
the election in an e-mail message to Jonathan Lee, executive director of
the Maine Speak Out Project, a program that sends gay speakers around the
state and organized today's meeting. Mr. King gave permission today to
quote from the message.
He had slept perhaps as little as the presidential candidates that night,
Mr. King wrote, wondering whether he could have done something to tip the
balance in the proposal's favor. He believed the campaign failed, he
wrote, because "we never reached the substantial percentage who want to
do the right thing, but need to understand (or, better yet, feel) that
there is a real-life problem that needs fixing."
In response to Mr. Lee's suggestion that if the governor had used his
bully pulpit more the measure might have won, Mr. King responded: "I
can't answer the question you raise, and it hurts; I am deeply sorry we
didn't make it. I can only console myself with the certain knowledge that
if I did let you down, it was due to a tactical misjudgment, not a lack
of courage or commitment."
Mr. King had campaigned more loudly - and just as unsuccessfully - for
gay rights in 1998; he was quieter this time, he wrote, out of fear of
being "overused" again and generating a backlash, as he did in 1998.
Michael Heath, a leading opponent of the gay rights proposal, said in a
telephone interview that part of the explanation for the outcome might be
that Maine had a better organized network of Christian conservatives than
most other New England states.
Mr. Heath's group, the Christian Civic League of Maine, and others
emphasized the argument that "it's not about discrimination; it's about
other things."
"And this time," Mr. Heath said, "we talked about the Boy Scouts and the
civil unions in Vermont."
He said his group also argued that discreet gay men and lesbians were not
victims of discrimination in Maine, except in isolated incidents.
Post-mortems aside, Mr. King pledged today to do what he could, as the
chief of the state's largest employer, to establish rules throughout
state government barring employees from tolerating any form of
harassment.
And Maine Speak Out would continue its work, Mr. Lee said, including
holding a big march this summer in which straight people are to walk next
to their gay loved ones.
Subject: Worm Opening
Ben Boxer: Well, Bob, you ask about me having off-the-wall parapsychological
experiences? Ha! Let us hope you do not regret having opened up MY can of
worms on the subject. The answer, oh, yes, brother, oh, yes! Parapsychology is defined as the study of the evidence for psychological
phenomena, such as
telepathy, clairvoyance, and psychokinesis, that are inexplicable by
science.
Ben, Bob, et. al;
I hope I don't wind up allowing myself to rant to the point where I
re-type my entire dissertation, but let me try to offer my personal take on
these kinds of experiences. First of all, it's generally believed that such
things as ghosts, apparitions and the strange sounds, smells and sensations
that accompany them are simply residual energy. Since we know that energy
cannot be created or destroyed, simply transmuted, all energy is free to
take on any form with the proper influence. In the case of psychic
phenomenon... Well, lets use an example shall we? Many of us are familiar
with the psychic John Edward, who has a television show on the Sci-Fi
channel. He claims to be able to communicate with the spirits of departed
loved ones and so forth. I suggest that he is (with all good intentions mind
you) incorrect in his explanation of his unusual ability. I believe (and am
able to give some evidence to this) that he simply is able to touch with the
very alive energies of the persons whom he is "reading" for. Ask yourself
this, has he ever offered up a piece of information that his subject did not
already know, either consciously or subconsciously? The person might not
understand the reference when he gives it, but later you almost always see
them say "When John mentioned the name Sparky, I didn't know what he was
talking about, then later it dawned on me, we had a dog named Sparky when I
was a little girl"... He has yet to offer any information that didn't
already exist in the mind of his subject. I would be more convinced if he
were able to say to a subject "Your departed father wants me to tell you
that he buried a box full of money in the basement" and later the person dug
it up. But you see that isn't going to happen, Mr. Edward is simply reading
the energies that exist in the vicinity. Some are stronger than others,
which is why he is drawn to certain locations. Dependant on the subject and
or the subject matter. This is my belief and since this is hardly something
that can be outright proven, I could be wrong but I believe my take on it is
more likely to be the case. Now in the cases of "visitations from beyond".
When a concerted amount of energy is placed on a person, thing or location,
it becomes a focal point for this energy. In your case, Ben, your visitation
from your aunt was likely to have been a projection of energy from your
mother. Those memories, whether they be on the surface or buried deep in our
subconscious, can be quite intense. Some people are more receptive to these
things than others. This is why some people see "ghosts" and others do not.
"Ghosts", rarely are interactive. Most of the time when someone sees an
apparition, it is reenacting some scene from life. This is what is called
residual energy. It, more oft than not, is left behind in cases where a
person has met their demise under violent or stressful circumstances. That's
why when we hear of "The old haunted house up on the hill" normally there is
a story about
someone murdering someone or committing suicide to go along with it. A
commonplace thing when we talk of haunted houses.
But then you probably wonder about situations where the apparition seems
to be interactive. In your case, Ben, the situation with your boil, that's a
bit harder to explain but it can be explained none the less. You were asleep
at the time, correct? Energy isn't dependant on distance, especially when
you carry your own everywhere you go. Obviously this sore was bothering you
quite a bit and subconsciously you remembered the way in which your aunt
would help you when you were younger. How it actually opened up isn't really
a great surprise. I'd say about 75% of the time a boil will simply burst on
its own if it's in a place where the skin is thin or taught, the nose is one
of those places. The longer it remains, the larger it gets, the more likely
it is to burst open. Most of the time it happens in your sleep too. When
you're awake you're very conscious of the affected area and are less likely
to bump it or scratch it, but asleep, especially when your subconscious is
at work, in this case, recalling how your aunt would care for your wounds,
well, two follows one and you more than likely popped the thing yourself
without even knowing it. The dreamstate simply added the elements of the
supernatural to the occurrence.
This is not to say that there's no such thing as spirits, ghosts, souls
or an afterlife. Just that I believe our ability to contact it is very
limited. Can we contact the "other side"? I believe we can, but not so
haphazardly as some would like to think. It requires a serious effort and
the concentration of energies to do so. I believe (for my own reasons) that
certain times of the year are better for this kind of activity than others
but I won't get into that, it'd take even more time and bore a lot of folks.
So most of the occurrences in life that we attribute to the supernatural are
simply natural phenomenon that we're simply not used to. You could call them
occult phenomenon if you use the word literally (meaning "Hidden" as
pertaining to knowledge). I feel though, that on the majority these things
are far from supernatural, simply that modern science has yet to categorize
these things because of the infrequency of their occurrence. I mean, most
folks have a "ghost story" but very few have any documented proof of it.
I haven't yet read the stories you pointed out and I will do so next, I'm
interested in seeing what else has happened to you. I was not aware of all
the trials and tribulations of your life experiences. I know you're a
fantastic writer but I didn't know how much you drew from actual life
experience.
Regards,
Subject: Fw: Worm Opening
- ----- Original Message -----
Subject: Worm Opening
(Comments deleted, but referenced in general below)
I have no defense for my experiences, except that we all dream, asleep or
awake. Freud thought he could interpret dreams. Enter psychiatry. Buddha
thought he could take on the cares of mankind and solve them. Enter
Buddhism. Enter Jesus. Enter all religion. Enter the "divine" right of
kings. Enter schizophrenia. Enter an Irish grandmother "born with the veil."
Enter the Fox sisters with their seances. Enter Merlin the magician. Enter
Edgar Casey. Enter all those who BELIEVE in the dreams, visions, fantasies
of the foregoing and take it a step farther by fabricating myths and legends
to support the belief system.
Each of us is his own kind of nutcake, and that's OK as long as we don't
egomaniacally carry it too far -- like Hitler, or Attila the Hun, or the guy
who shot John Lennon 20 years ago. I don't swear as gospel the extraordinary
things that have happened to me, but I don't deny them or hide them, either.
I relish them and enjoy them. I am not afraid of where my mind can take me
or why as long as I don't zap anybody else, and I love to see the mind
operating at full throttle in others. We live in an age of "spin." Ha! There
isn't anything on today's political scene, for example, that can't be warped
or rechanneled in the direction the Republicans or the Democrats want to
take it. Ads on TV for tampons and soap, etc., thrive on fantasies about the
most ordinary things. Joe Camel smokes a cigarette. Oral Roberts talks to
God. Jerry Falwell SPEAKS for God!
Santa Claus LIVES! You see what I mean? A real can of worms!
Subject: Re: Worm Opening
Going Fishing here... Since we've got the worms.
Ben Boxer says:
I buy everything you said might be the case. It's as good an explanation
as
any. I read the works of Paul Brunton years ago, and his talk of "spirit
bands" around the earth, etc., always struck me as Looney Tunes
This sounds suspiciously like lay lines to me. These are quite possibly a
reality, there is no hard evidence of course, but some believe that there
are fields
of energy that exist on the earth, some think of them in terms of lines (or
bands if you will). They use this to explain such things as the Bermnuda
Triangle
among others. While this theory is not something we're likely to find any
substantiation for, it's worthy of some thought. I believe that certain
places do hold
energy more strongly than others, for whatever various reasons there may be.
Maybe these lay lines or "spirit bands" do exist, maybe they don't. I like
to keep
my mind open about these kinds of things. Even though it does make it harder
to clean in there, what with all the cobwebs and all.
I have no defense for my experiences, except that we all dream, asleep or
awake.
A defense for an open mind isn't necessary, at least not within the company
of other free thinkers. It's when we encounter those who have made up their
minds
about so many things that we feel the need to defend what we have accepted
as true, even if WE know that truth is relative, so many of "THEM(tm)(c)(r)"
as
totally certain that their "TRUTH" is the one and only. I won't get you
started on the whole Christianity issue if you don't get me started.
Each of us is his own kind of nutcake, and that's OK as long as we don't
egomaniacally carry it too far --
Ohhh, why not? Lets carry it. After all, if we don't, who will? I mean,
what's too far? Is it too far to say that you actually DO believe in ghosts?
Is it too far to believe in God? Or yes, even Santa Claus. Nah... So long as
you keep that open mind.
You see what I mean? A real can of worms!
My aunt in Alabama actually has a worm farm, she sells them to fishermen all
over the country. Often when you go out and buy your worms to go fishing at
the local convenience store you may acually have opened a can of my aunt's
prized nightcrawlers. :)
Subject: Re: Para Psychology
Ben, your post really is chilling and incredible. But, could you explain:
were you kidnapped and by who? How did it happen? Did you always
remember your mother, even though you were so young? Police weren't able
to find you? I will try to read the stories whose urls you gave me. Your
aunt sounds like a very kind woman. What a shock to see her just as she
was in a picture!
Bob and Harley
Subject: Re: Parapsychology
- ----- Original Message -----
Subject: Re: Para Psychology
Ben...could you explain: were you kidnapped and by who? How did it happen?
Did you always remember your mother...Police weren't able to find
you?....etc.
==============
Robert, I must first apologize to all for having consumed so much bandwidth
jabbering about myself in this thread, so after this response, I will call
it quits on my part.
My parents were involved in a ghastly divorce from each other that led to
double kidnappings across state and international lines and a show trial set
up by my father's uncle who was a justice of his state's Supreme Court. I
was placed on the stand at age 4 and browbeaten by a string of lawyers
in a vain attempt to make me testify against my mother. It was all so unfair
and so squirrelly that when my father's uncle discovered the truth years
later, he begged my mother's forgiveness before he could die in peace,
believing his actions had destroyed our lives, which they damn near did. It
was all a family affair, in an age when children were not as protected
legally as they are today. Thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt (who is largely
responsible for the United Nations' attention to the international rights of
the child)!
No, I did not remember my mother. I was so traumatized by the terrible
events that I remembered nothing that happened in my life between birth and
the age of seven. Then one glorious autumn day when I was 16, I woke up, you
might say, while I was raking leaves, when suddenly it dawned on me like a
blaze of light: "Good God, I must have had a mother! I wasn't brought by a
stork!"
At that moment began the odyssey which took me back to her. And when I found
her and read all the court documents and endless correspondence and
investigative police reports covering my final disappearance and learned of
the shameless duplicity of some members of my father's family whom I had
trusted, slowly, irrevocably, my life before the age of seven opened up in
my mind.
I could remember conversations of adults and even the furnishings of houses
while I was still in a crib. It had all been stored in the back of my head,
a vault whose opening was triggered by finding out what had really happened
and why my childhood was stolen from me. Those recollections were fresh and
new, undiluted by time, undissipated by use and re-use.
You used the word "incredible," Bob, in the sense of "astonishing,"
"marvelous," and I agree. I was astonished to discover that I had been an
actual eyewitness in babyhood to situations which would lead to the dreadful
uprooting of our lives, and what I remembered, more than the testimony of
anyone else, exonerated my mother from all blame in my mind for the damage
done.
A side effect was that I became a student of nuances, of the shadings of
words in conversation, of motives and hidden meanings revealed in seemingly
unimportant gestures and body language. A second was that I recognized the
need to discharge abusive people from my environment at the first opportunity,
or to otherwise neutralize them. This has stood me in good stead. I do not
suffer assholes lightly or overlong.
Let us turn now to you. You are not sighted. You cannot see with
the outer eyes. You cannot judge from the way a person shifts his eyes or
shrugs or moves uncomfortably in a chair.
How do you do it? What clues do people offer you? How do you navigate
mentally on the social plane? Your postings reveal you to be a man of
education and a certain style which do not suggest to those who are not told
that are a man without sight.
Clearly, though, you are a man of vision. How are those inner eyes
supplemented by the energy flowing through the world around you?
Subject: Re: Parapsychology, and a bit about me
In answering your question, Ben, I must admit, sadly, that I am much more
isolated than you would think. I have not had many of the experiences of
other people, and I sometimes tend to be naive in trusting people.
However, what has stood me in good stead are two things: 1) because of the
nature of blindness, many people don't want to be bothered with me, and
those that do are either exceptionally kind, or somewhat unbalanced, and
the latter can be picked out by their questions. For example, if someone
only wants to know about blindness, and never gets beyond it, I know that
we cannot have a friendship. If someone is guiding me, and I ask them to
hold their arm in a more comfortable way, and they resist, I know that a
close friendship will never happen. If I detect impatience at the help I
need (and this happens more than I'd like to believe) I usually back off.
What has intrigued me, somewhat saddened me, and also confused me, is that
in the chubby/chaser movement, many will help those who are unable to
manage because of extreme weight. I know a couple in which one member has
to help the other to tidy up after a bowel movement because he cannot
reach due to his weight. Yet, the help that I need as a blind person, is
not seen in the same way, and I think the reason is that there is no
movement where people are attracted to blind guys. In other words, the
help given freely to a chubby guy is based on the whole aspect of sexual
attraction, and since this does not exist for the blind guy, the help is
without any motivation, and must be given freely, but without perhaps a
reward, until you get to know the blind person better. I have also
noticed that for some people, the fact of my blindness makes them so
uncomfortable, that they cannot concentrate on anything else.
It is so hard to know why certain people are at ease with blind people and
others aren't. It's something I can pick up right away, after a few
words, and often, people who have never met a blind person, are more
comfortable than those who have had one experience, and have very
preconceived ideas.
I read a lot, and try to learn from lists like this one. If a person is
kind, I ask lots of questions, even if I know that by doing so, I will
expose things I don't know that sighted people do. And, I have received
some very nice posts, and am going to try to cultivate some meaningful
friendships from the list. Because of my situation, sexual attraction
probably has to come second.
I hope others find my posts interesting, and I also do not want to
monopolize things, so will let others talk and go back to reading!
I loved Michael's explanation of the parapsychic! Is that the right word?
Hugs,
P.s. Harley is a wonderful ice breaker and helps me a lot, as he is so
darling and outgoing a dog! I probably could not have a close friendship
with someone who really didn't like animals, especially Harley.
Subject: Re: Parapsychology, and a bit about me
Hello Bob,
In response to your comments relating your disability to the chub-chaser
concept I'd like to comment if I might. You're right, this has everything to
do with sexual attraction. But when it comes to people who are SO narrow
minded that this is what they look for to the exclusion of all else, I say
you're better off without them anyway. Too often you'll find a personal ad
on the internet where a guy will go into such great detail about what he
wants in a partner, physically and emotionally as well as maybe even
financially it makes you wonder "Is this guy serious? Does he really expect
someone to respond to this?" Regrettably, those kinds of people often do get
responses. I believe that what's important isn't the sex, it's the
relationship, the close bond you develop with another human being. My
partner and I rarely ever even discuss sex, it's not the major part of why
we are together, we're together because we love each other and care deeply
for each other. When he first saw my ad on the Apollo network and on Ben's
web site, he was initially attracted because he actually IS a chub chaser,
but it wasn't the most important factor, in fact, we set out to start a life
together based on letters and telephone calls, by the time he was ready to
drive up here from his home in Fort Myers Florida, I was already looking for
a house. When he arrived, we got an apartment within the week, a month and a
half later we flew down to Florida and packed up the remainder of the things
he wanted to ship here to Philly and we settled on our new house two months
later and have been here since September if '98. Sex and labels like chub,
silverfox or bear had nothing to do with it. We clicked so well together and
enjoyed each other's company, we have never had what you'd call an argument,
we rarely have a raised voice in the house, our families are very happy for
us and visit often. We've got, basically an Ozzy & Harriet thing going on
here. Were he or I to have a problem, it wouldn't change anything. I had my
share of handicaps when we met and they've had almost no effect on things. I
can't imagine what it would be like for either of us to be blind but I know
it would not affect the love we have in any way. That's what people need,
not a "daddy" or "son" or "bear" or "chub", they need a partner who loves
them unconditionally. I think in your case you need to rise above all of
these labels and look inside the person (Which you don't need to be sighted
to do) and find out what they're like where it counts. You might find that a
person who may take a long time getting used to your blindness may turn out
to be the perfect partner for you, it'd require patience on your part as
well. I don't think you should too quickly dismiss a person because they
might initially be uncomfortable with your disability. Usually that attitude
comes from them being so self conscious about saying or doing something to
hurt your feelings that they mess up left and right. That's really not a bad
thing, their heart's in the right place and they need time to become
comfortable with you just as you'd need time to be comfortable with someone
who maybe is a quadriplegic or is deaf or whatever else.
As to why some people are more comfortable than others with a person who has
a certain disability. Well people are people, everyone is different and
handles things in a different way. One guy might have no problem with it and
be very much at ease around you but then later you'd discover that he has
some terrible personality flaws while another guy might be highly
uncomfortable at first, for the reasons I mentioned above and later you'll
discover that he's the best friend you could ever have asked for.
When it comes to sexual attraction coming later, that's really how it should
be. That is to say, while you might have an immediate sexual attraction to a
certain person, the relationship should be based on much more important
things which you learn about each other first. So don't sweat it if you feel
that sexual attraction isn't going to be there right off the bat, that's
healthy and the right way to approach things I feel.
By the way, how can you monopolize a list? Everyone's able to post and read
at their leisure, there's no set amount of posts that the list can transmit
in a day, so please do continue to post frequently. If anyone complains,
tell them to see me, I'm too big to mess with, I'll just sit on 'em. (Even
Ben Boxer is tiny to me).
Quoting Bob Here "I loved Michael's explanation of the parapsychic! Is that
the right word?"
I respond: Thanks, I'm glad you liked what I had to say. I think the word
that applys is parapsychological. Don't know if your text to speech will
spell that out for you but it doesn't really matter, we know what we're
discussing so, no big deal, right?
Hugs,
P.S. Harley is cute, I've seen his picture on the web... We have a 2 year
old Dalmation named Smoke. We should get them together and see if they'd
like to be friends. Smoke's a bit rambunctious sometimes but usually he just
likes to lay on the sofa between Roy and I and watch television or pester us
at dinner time for table scraps (And who am I kidding, he doesn't get table
scraps, he gets his own plate of human food just like any other member of
the family). What kind of dog is Harley? By the way, that's one of the
coolest names for a dog, I tried to talk my niece into naming her Canary dog
Harley but for some reason she named the poor thing Leon. Now that's just
not right.
Subject: Our wishes for your safety in the U.K.
We are all concerned for your safety if you are living in southwest England
or Wales and thus subject to the torrential rains and flooding which have
already claimed two lives. Please take care. Perhaps you are offline because
of the weather, but when you come back online, we want you to know you have
been in our thoughts.
Subject: Re: Our wishes for your safety in the U.K.
I am fortunate to live on a hill in London but for some parts of the UK this
is the third or fourth time that they have been flooded out.
The interesting discussion is the cause of all this damage, is it:
- - The effect of global warming
- - The complacency from not having severe storms for many years
My money is on the latter since statistically the weather pattern we are
experiencing now is not outside the norm - extreme but not unknown. The lack
of severe weather means that we build in what were flood plains of rivers -
and then wonder why the water floods the area. In fact the government had
recently designated one of the badly flooded areas for housing development,
such is the pressure for homes in the South East of England.
The other thing that occurs to me is that if these poor people were
under-insured before (and may were) it means they are going to be
un-insurable in the future.
Pewit
Editor of The Gray Gay Guide
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 8 Dec 2000 16:13:25 -0800
There's good news tonight!
Well, gents, my words have not returned unto me void! I just heard from a
subscriber on the south coast of England who tells me that although the
weather's mighty dreadful, "the emergency services are pumping away and
let's hope we are all safe in the morning."
There's no one like an Englishman for keeping a stiff upper lip, not to
mention a certain stiffness above the bollocks!
Subject: Homosexuality among priests
Headline:
Text:
Subject: Almost disasters
These floods in England and Wales have brought
back a couple of personal memories.
One occurred in the Aberdare Range of Kenya,
East Africa. I had pitched camp after dark
without being able to see well enough to select a
proper site. Every night before I slept, beside my
head I placed a music box which had been given
me by a friend in Cape Town several months
before. It played my favorite hymn, which lent a
sense of comfort out there alone in the wilds. I
remember winding the key and setting the box in
its usual place, but apparently fell asleep before
playing it. At some point in the night, I must have
shifted my position and knocked it over. The box
popped open, its tune tinkling in my ear. In a
panic, I woke from deep sleep, sprang to my
feet, snatched up my sleeping bag and retreated
to my motor scooter (The Road Angel) parked
higher up, at the top of a rise. I stood there
wide-eyed for a minute or two before a roar
pounded in my ears -- not elephants stampeding,
nor lions on the hunt, the usual African things,
but ground-shaking thunder that struck fear
into my soul. A 20-foot wall of water crashed
past me, its spray drenching me to the skin. Had
I not scrambled up from the dry creek bed a
moment before, the flash flood from the summit
of the mountain would have swept me away.
After a sleepless hour or two, morning's light
found me on the road, chastened, humbled by
nature's power, but singing in full voice the
music box hymn: "Shepherd, show me how to go
O'er the hillside steep....." Under the
circumstances, the lyrics seemed more than
appropriate.
On a less spiritual note and on the other side of
the world, the second incident occurred while I
was spending some time at my favorite place in
Hawaii -- Hanalei Bay on the island of Kauai.
(Actually, I wrote a story about the sex part of
that visit, called "Kauai Bobby," which is in the
Library at the Silverfoxes Clubhouse.
There is also an audio version of "Kauai Bobby"
at the Snooker Club, where I have several hours
of such recordings. There are a few at the
Clubhouse, too, and especially for this posting, I
have moved "Kauai Bobby" to the Clubhouse as
well, for those who are not members of the
Snooker Club. You can listen to it here. The second half of this posting is about an event
which transpired the day after Bobby and I had
our first sexual adventure, but this time our
adventure was definitely life-and-death!)
Bobby came back the following morning (after
what took place in "Kauai Bobby") to invite me
for a walk on the beach at Hanalei. This required
our swimming across a narrow river mouth
emptying into beautiful Hanalei Bay. I have loved
the place ever since I first saw it in WW II movies
and "South Pacific" as it was a favorite among
filmmakers to suggest the perfect tropical isle.
The Na Pali Cliffs rose majestically at its far end.
Edging its crescent of white sand, groves of royal
palms swayed in the ocean breeze. The beach
was deserted. Once or twice, Bobbie sweetly
took my hand as we strolled along. After an hour
or so, we turned and retraced our steps on our
way back to the hotel. Being fair-skinned, I am
not a sun baby and must dress protectively
against the effects of the sun in long, loose pants,
brimmed straw hat, a long-sleeved jacket or
shirt, and sandals that cover my insteps.
Sunburn is not a joke to me. Besides all that
gear, I must wear sun-resistant cream on my
face and hands. That day, I was wearing a
lightweight nylon windbreaker instead of a shirt,
pulled tight with a string below the waist. Bobby
and I were so deep in conversation we scarcely
noticed that we were no longer walking on dry
sand as we followed the curve of the beach, but
were in water to our ankles, then to our calves,
then to our knees. At that point, I realized the
tide was coming in, rushing out and returning
again and again. Within seconds we were
splashing through water to our thighs and then
to our waists. The beach suddenly seemed far
away. I felt the tug of each receding wave, but
the incoming swept past and began its return
before I could follow it to land. My jacket, tied at
my waist, began to fill up with water like a
balloon, dragging me down. As my head slipped
below water, I saw Bobby struggling to give me
his hand. I reached out, but no dice. I was
beyond his reach. When I popped up for air, my
instincts made me swim hard for the shore, but
Bobby remained too far from my grasp. In an
instant of inspiration, I managed to twist and
snatch a sandal from one foot. It became an
extension of my arm. Bobby's face lit up. He got
his finger in the strap and pulled hard until our
toes touched bottom again with our heads above
water. I could see panic in his eyes, as I am sure
he saw in mine, but our determination to survive
overrode our fear. Finally, after what seemed a
long struggle, we emerged on the sand and fell in
a heap. Our breath came in gasps, but I heard
him say, "I thought I was gonna lose you, man."
He clutched my hand and kissed it. Back at the
hotel, we made passionate love in more
traditional ways than the night before, and then
he left. I would never see him again, but it could
be that he saved my life for these later days. I
mentioned the experience of falling victim to the
undercurrent to the hotel manager that night.
He was appalled. He told me that Hanalei Bay
had claimed many victims that way. It was said
there were underwater caverns where the
bodies got lodged, never to be seen again.
Subject: [Fwd: Eating tips]
I hate this time of year.
Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the
season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual
tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.
You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating
do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies
made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say.
Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot
stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you
left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure
you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make
it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.
1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a
holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you
see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.
Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them
and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them
behind. You're not going
to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards,
mate.
10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention Reread tips.
Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.
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End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #70
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