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Silverfoxesclub-digest In this issue:
-Re: I saw "Queer As Folk"
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Subject: Re: I saw "Queer As Folk"
Ben,
The US series is based on the UK series which was aired in two sections over
the last 2 years.
If they have stuck to the same story line there won't be any foxes, but
there will be one married older man who is a client of Stuart (The guy in
advertising - I think they changed the names in the US) who wants to go
"out" on the town.
Also Stuart's friend (Vince in the UK) has an affair with an older guy
(again, not fox material) and they explore some of the issues about gay
stereotypes and intergenerational relationships.
Otherwise it's regular Twinkie stuff :-)
Pity they didn't release the UK version in NSTC video format but I am sure
the program will have a similar impact in the US.
Pewit
Subject: Gays Find Warm Welcome in a New Jersey Suburb
In today's NY Times.
Edward
Gays Find Warm Welcome in a New Jersey Suburb
MAPLEWOOD, N.J. - In this suburb, rainbow flags, the symbol of gay pride,
flap outside grand Tudors and gracious Colonials, sometimes several per
block. At the Maple Leaf Diner, children blowing bubbles in their
chocolate milk often have two fathers or two mothers. And at day care
centers and Sunday school, there is rarely a class without several
children who have same-sex parents.
This Essex County community, and neighboring South Orange, which shares
its school system, are considered by scores of real estate brokers and
gay homeowners to be the most welcoming suburb in the region for gay men
and lesbians. A same-sex couple holding hands on the train platform is a
ho-hum event here. Gay families are welcome at neighborhood potluck
dinners. And domestic partners are entitled to a family membership at the
town pool without discussion.
Of course, there are many gay New Jerseyans living happily in Montclair,
Plainfield and Asbury Park, and in other places across the nation,
including Takoma Park, Md., and Madison, Wis. But, by most accounts,
there is no suburb outside the Bay Area or Los Angeles where same-sex
couples are as accepted as they are here.
Dr. Marc Beshar, a dentist, and Charles Lascari, a transplant coordinator
at a New Jersey hospital, learned that five years ago, the day after they
moved into their English Arts and Crafts-style house just blocks from the
quaint village center.
The couple, who had moved from Manhattan while waiting to adopt their
first daughter, welcomed a neighbor's invitation to services at St.
George's Episcopal Church. The two men, both born Roman Catholic, had
abandoned organized religion, but wanted to raise their children within a
faith.
The experience at the church, Dr. Beshar said, was profound. "We stood
and were introduced as a unified couple," he said. "Never before in a
non-gay environment had I been treated as normal, just like everybody
else. It made me go `Wow!' "
Time has not dimmed their enthusiasm. "We never, ever think of ourselves
as exceptional or unusual here," said Dr. Beshar, as Olivia, 5, and Ana,
4, climbed into his lap for a game of patty-cake.
Nobody knows how many gay families live in Maplewood and South Orange,
but a stroll in either village suggests that many do, and they go about
their daily routines as openly as they might in Chelsea or West
Hollywood. The difference is that this is not a gay ghetto, but rather a
place where sexual orientation is not the defining fact of life.
"Living in a neighborhood, among everyone else, is what we wanted," said
Jerry Clifford, who teaches physics at Fairleigh Dickinson University.
His social life, along with that of his partner, B. J. Fan, a scientist,
is centered in their neighborhood, where there is one other gay couple.
On the third Friday of each month, for instance, the entire neighborhood
turns out for a rotating potluck.
That the gay families here want to be part of the community, not stand
outside it, has blunted the occasional reservations of old-timers.
"They're living here to live here, not to be confrontational or group
together for parades," said Charles Bibbins, 68, a retired cosmetics
executive. "Not making an issue of it or wearing a badge is the best way
to break down potential hostility."
Ignorance is more common than overt antagonism, many here say. Some older
people do not understand what "partner" means, for instance, and persist
in asking about a neighbor's husband or wife. Others, sounding less than
embracing, say that "they don't bother us," with a whisper of otherness
in the word "they."
There also is an appreciation, even if grudging, for neighbors with the
means to improve their houses and thus real estate values. "We could do a
lot worse," said Don Aukamp, 63, a retired insurance agent. "They're
mostly very wealthy and well-educated. They're not on welfare. And they
keep the prices of the houses up."
Gay couples and their families say their comfort level here is related to
the fact that Maplewood and South Orange have long been a haven for urban
refugees from Park Slope and Hoboken, for artists and musicians, for
interracial couples and for black and white professionals determined not
to let the racial balance in their neighborhoods tip, as it has in
neighboring Newark and Irvington.
"We were very careful about where we chose to live," said Mark Hoebee,
associate director of the Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn, who lives
here with his partner, Larry Elardo, a commercial real estate agent;
their 2-year-old son, Stephen; and Sylvester, their cat. "We needed a
very diverse community with a variety of alternative families - mixed
religions, mixed races, blended families - because we knew that would be
a supportive place."
Originally, gays were attracted to nearby Montclair, a community known
for its tolerance. But home prices there spiked and a local gay real
estate broker, Jaan Henry, spread the word that a buyer could get more
house for the money, a cozy village ambience, cosmopolitan amenities, a
half-hour commute and diversity in Maplewood or South Orange.
"Initially it was spillover from Montclair," said Ellen Greenfield,
chairwoman of the docent program at the Newark Museum, who moved from
Hoboken with her husband and children and then urged many of her gay
friends to follow. "Now it's become a destination on its own."
A compelling magnet is the Episcopal church here, which has 30 years of
history as a hospitable place for gays and lesbians. Long before it was
common, St. George's welcomed gay organizations, including Dignity, a
group for gay Roman Catholics, to meet in its space.
From 1993 to 1999, the congregation was led by Barry Stopfel, an openly
gay priest, whose ordination led to a high-profile ecclesiastical trial
in which the ordaining bishop was cleared of heresy charges. The current
rector, Todd Smelser, is also openly gay, and the church quietly performs
lesbian and gay unions.
The heresy trial drew hordes of reporters and camera crews to St.
George's, Sunday after Sunday. What they found, according to Ulysses
Dietz, the curator of decorative arts at the Newark Museum and an active
member of the church, was a decidedly mixed group, including he and his
partner, Gary Berger, a computer programmer, and their two adopted
children, Alex and Grace, both 5; Mr. Lascari and Dr. Beshar and their
girls; straight families with children; and retirees.
"They saw we were all kissing each other at the peace," Mr. Dietz said.
"Just a parish church acting like a parish church. It put us on the
map."
Another attraction is the Community Coalition of Maplewood/South Orange,
a group that promotes integrated neighborhoods by giving low-interest
loans to black families buying houses in the traditionally white west
side of town and vice versa. The coalition, supported by both
municipalities to forestall white flight, advertises the joys of living
here in urban newspapers. Anyone who answers the ads receives a folder of
information, with photos of gay families, among others, on its cover.
For some gay couples with children, the racial diversity is not an
attraction in its own right but a signal of what sort of place this is, a
"community marker," in the words of Elizabeth Kaeton, an Episcopal
deacon, who moved here with her partner and their five grown children
after living a "discreet" life in East Orange. There, she said, they kept
conversation "light and impersonal because we didn't want people to know
too much." Here, she said, she feels no such inhibitions.
For other gay couples, a racially diverse community is essential because
they have adopted nonwhite children. That is the case for Beverly Heath,
a substitute teacher, whose 11-year-old daughter, Annie, is half Middle
Eastern and half Hispanic, and changes her mind frequently as to whether
she is black or white.
"For two white women with a mixed-race child, this is a perfect place,"
Ms. Heath said, as Annie downed a Burger King fish sandwich and a root
beer before racing off to a cello lesson and basketball practice.
Ms. Heath and many lesbian couples here live in modest homes, in
working-class neighborhoods, while the men more often live in the hilly
estate areas. Ms. Henry, the real estate broker, attributes this to the
discrepancy between the incomes of men and women, and to the seeming
fondness of gay men, especially those without children, for renovating
stately old mansions.
Another broker, Roy Scott, has redone and resold a half-dozen homes in
the exclusive Montrose area of South Orange and now shares a nine-bedroom
Georgian Colonial with his partner and a live-in housekeeper. Nearby, in
a 5,300-square-foot center hall Colonial, Jim Skelley, a hospital
administrator, and Warren Leonard, who runs a nonprofit association, are
two and a half years into a renovation, with no end in sight. Their
current project is refinishing the 20 doors on the second floor.
Most couples with children, be they male or female, live more modestly.
Mr. Lascari and Dr. Beshar, for instance, came to the suburbs before
adopting their children so they could spend less time working, a luxury
they could not afford in New York City. Dr. Beshar practices only four
days a week and takes Ana to her Friday violin lesson. Mr. Lascari, a
stay-at-home dad for four years, now telecommutes often so he can watch
Olivia's ballet class or take her to the doctor.
Many, although not all, of Maplewood's heterosexual residents say they
enjoy the unconventional mix of their community. Martha Gardner, a
parishioner at St. George's, is gratified that her daughter Sara is
having stereotypes shattered by baby-sitting for the Lescari-Beshar
girls. Barbara Heisler-Williams, former director of the Community
Coalition, said her children have so many friends from two-dad or two-mom
families that they do not understand why anyone considers it a big deal.
Pethrine Thompson, the nanny who cares for Mr. Elardo's and Mr. Hoebee's
son, says she has learned that the things she was told about gay people
in her native Trinidad - "that they're not normal, molest children and
all that bad stuff" - are not true. Mr. Skelley and Mr. Leonard's
neighbors take pride in being hip enough to know the significance of a
rainbow flag. And Mr. Scott enjoys a budding friendship with a Mormon
family on his block.
The gay families are part of the fabric of life in Maplewood in ways
great and small. A domestic violence task force added a training session
on abuse in same-sex couples. A photo exhibit of gay families was
displayed at the high school. A local Boy Scout troop sent a letter of
protest to the national officials about the exclusion of gay scout
leaders. A village patisserie, owned by a heterosexual woman, has a
rainbow decal on the door.
High on a hill with splendid views of the Verrazano-Narrows and Goethals
Bridges, Mr. Dietz and Mr. Berger, 20-year-residents, describe themselves
as homebodies who wanted the whole house-yard-dog thing long before it
was popular in their circles. They doubted "there'd be any community for
us here," Mr. Dietz said, "so we tried to be part of the community we
were in."
They walked Penny, their poodle, at night, whistling the "Leave It to
Beaver" theme. They joined the pool, were active at church and adopted
two children. By then, the strange had become normal. Alex was one of
four children in his preschool class with gay parents. There was no need
to talk to the teacher about how to handle Mother's Day because she
already knew several solutions, like having the children make cards for
their grandmothers.
"If we'd have chosen a different town," Mr. Dietz said, "we might have
lived our lives the same way, but without the same comfort."
Subject: CR Cruise Deadlines
Dear Friends,
Please be aware of the deadlines coming up for the CR Cruise
on the ship Fascination in June 2001. You can find the details
on cabins and prices on my web site: http://bostbill.home.netcom.com
Not to put any ideas in your head, but this will be an
older-younger gay crowd on a ship with lots of older married men
(with their wives, of course). These men may seem straight.
Our gay group will dine together and have a few activities
together, but most of your time will be yours to play.
Reservations are being handled by a full service travel agency
incorporated and licensed in the state of Ohio, Always Travel, Inc.
The agency is owned by my sister and me and her children.
We are very gay friendly. You already know that this owner is gay.
BOOKING DEADLINE FOR CR GROUP PRICES:
If you want to go on this cruise, or even think you may want to go, your
deposit of $400 is due now. Carnival Cruise Lines will reclaim all the
unused cabins
reserved for the CR group at the end of this month. After this month, the
price will increase, assuming there is space available. This is not a safe
assumption.
Therefore, my advice to you is to book now! Then cancel if necessary at the
Always Travel office by 4pm Eastern time on April 13, 2001. There will be a
$100 cancellation charge if you do cancel by this date. After that, the
cost of cancellation is increases rapidly.
Cabins are still available in all categories, but only two cabins are left
in the most desirable category. Each cabin has two bunks.
If you need a roommate, we will do our best to match you by non-smoking
or smoking preference and by older or younger preference.
But we are not a dating service, so you will be better pleased
if you find your own roommate by asking some mailing list for candidates.
My web site http://bostbill.home.netcom.com
has information on the CR Cruise in June 2001.
Date: Tue, 05 Dec 2000 01:37:52 -0000
is there any place to get a copy of the tape? British or American version.
Subject: Surprise birthday
In an interview, one of the actors in "Queer As Folk," the new Showtime TV
series idea (borrowed from the UK) about swinging gays, said that in his
previous movie he played a martial artist who excelled at KICKING ass,
whereas in his role as a gay young man in "Queer As Folk," he is now LICKING
ass."
I would like to start at this end of his acting spectrum and kick somebody's
cute little ass before I start licking it.
I am talking about my friend and your fellow list member Edward of Brooklyn,
previously of Hong Kong, ski enthusiast, general sportsman, computer whiz,
buddy (not partner) of the famous CR model Boston Bill and assorted other
stars of the Silverfoxes Syndrome, regular contributor of interesting
postings to this list, and HTML expert for Ben Boxer's Silverfoxes Clubhouse
who assists in the preparation of Michael's Twin Peeks column, plus other
projects. He is a busy son-of-a-bee!
It just came to my attention that today (Monday, Dec. 4) is Edward's birthday. Surprise! Not
to him, but to me! Someone told me he was celebrating it on another list.
Well, Edward, here's a kick in the butt for not letting us in on the good
news, too!
Twenty-eight today! Still just a baby by silverfoxy standards, but fully
equipped to make an older man happy -- or older MEN, as you wish!
Happy birthday, Edward! Now I will give you a good lickin' to assuage the
pain of the kick!
SMOOCH!
Ben Boxer
Subject: RE: Surprise Birthday
Thanks Ben.
Even though I am officially one year older, don't feel any changes.
Never really celebrate brithdays in my family, unless they are for kids
or adults over 70. This is especially the case since my birthday is on
the 4th and my oldest brother's birthday is on the 5th, so we would
always have joint birthdays.
Friends can't even arrange a bday dinner for me because I will be out of
town very soon for most of this month! They will just have to wait!
Officially, this is what I did for my birthday:
Talk about an eventful birthday!!!!
Edward
Subject: Re: Surprise birthday
Dear Ben,
In case you can't make the trip to Edward's city in the near future, I will
do the preliminary lickin' for you. We wouldn't want him to forget what a
good lickin' feels like, would we?
Subject: Re: Surprise birthday
oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!
Anyone else that would like to preform a preliminary licking is more than
welcome to do so!!!
Edward
Subject: Vicar in Pulpit After Sex Change
Ben Boxer says: The last line in the article below
gives me a giggle: "The opportunities are extremely
limited as a parish priest to appear in female dress."
I not only giggle, but also disagree. One of my
brothers is an Episcopal priest. He sweeps onstage
(oops!) in swirling vestments of shining,
gold-trimmed satin not looking overbearingly
masculine to me.
Bruno, eight-year-old boy and central character in
Shirley McLaine's delightul movie of that name, says
in defense of his habit of crossdressing, "Even the
Pope wears a dress!" He proceeds to prove it in the
final scene when he rushes into the open arms of the
Pontiff and gets a big hug and a kiss. Both are
dressed in virginal white gowns.
Headline:
Text:
There was a long standing ovation December 3 as
the Reverend Carol Stone delivered her first sermon
since undergoing sex reassignment surgery,
becoming the first known transsexual cleric in the
Church of England. When Stone last conducted a
service at St. Philip's Church in Upper Stratton,
Swindon, Wiltshire three months before, it had been
as the Reverend Peter Stone. But while more than
100 parishioners were present to support and
welcome back their pastor of four years, one elderly
woman called out, "You are the work of the Devil,
go to Hell!" and similar comments until she was
escorted out. Stone dedicated prayers to those
unable to accept her. She said after the service that,
"Inside me there is a deep peace and wholeness I
never had before."
Stone told the congregation that, "After almost 23
years of preaching I felt like a young curate again
preparing for one's first sermon." She confessed,
"This sermon hasn't been just three months in the
making. If the truth be told, I've been waiting to
write it for the best part of 46 years [referring to her
age] -- never dreaming that one day I might. Last
night, I came into church and stood here and tried
to imagine you all and how it would be. I couldn't
imagine where the strength would come from." She
recounted a passage from the series of children's
books about Winnie-the-Pooh in which the bear
feels that everyone but he is "all right" until the boy
Christopher Robin reassures him, and added, "If
Pooh were here today, I'd like to think he would say
the same about me -- that I too was all right, as
indeed you are."
Stone, who in 1979 won a National Broadcasting
Award from the Sandford St. Martin Trust for her
radio work, held a news conference November 28.
There she said, "I have only two vocations in my
whole life. They are to be a priest and to be a
woman. My last prayer at night [while growing up]
was that I'd wake up a girl. My first reaction after it
all [the surgery] was 'thank goodness.' Before, there
was a deep pool of suffering and sadness, but now I
feel that whole period of my life is finished with. ... I
am just thrilled to be me. I have a wonderful
congregation." Stone has also had support from her
mother and from her 18-year-old daughter (Peter
Stone was twice married and divorced).
Stone's superior, Bishop of Bristol Barry Rogerson,
had discussed Stone's impending surgery with the
congregation in June, after finding no reason she
should not continue her work and obtaining
approval from the highest levels of the Anglican
Church. The usual requirement of living in one's
chosen gender before surgery was abbreviated in
Stone's case, because as Stone remarked in June,
"The opportunities are extremely limited as a parish
priest to appear in female dress."
Subject: Eyes like piss holes in the snow
I intercepted a posting on the way into Michael's Twin Peeks column at the
Silverfoxes Clubhouse and checked it out. You might enjoy it, too. It's an
online dictionary of English slang and colloquialisms used in the United
Kingdom. You chaps in the UK should find it fun. Just don't stay up all
night reading it. You'll end up with "eyes like piss holes in the snow"
(listed in the above dictionary under "e")!
http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/
Subject: Friendship
OATH TO MY FRIEND
When you are scared,........... I will laugh at you and tease
you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried,...........I will tell you how much worse it could
be and to quit complaining.
When you are sad,................I will get you drunk and help you plot
revenge against the scum sucker who made you sad.
When you are confused,........I will use little words
to explain it to your dumb ass.
And when you are lost,..........I will answer my cell
phone and give you directions.
When you are sick.................I will hold your hair while you pay
homage to the porcelain god.
When you fall........................I will point and laugh
at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath......................I pledge till the end. Why you may
ask?.............. Because you're my friend. And the whole reason people
have friends is to have fun!
Subject: Many, many questions!
I am truly gratified that a man who had gender reassignment surgery is
allowed to continue being a priest, and I'm somewhat shocked, because
people can be so cruel in confronting differences. I have a question
about this surgery: is it obvious from looking that this person is not a
biological woman? And, would the vaginal area be very different, or
scarred up? /Have any of you ever met a person who had this kind of
surgery, or known a person before and afterward? Can they truly find
happiness with the pressure of others that this is wrong? Is it more
common for men to reassign as women than the other way around? Is the
operation very painful? I know very little about this topic, but would
like to know more. Do some women reassign as men? Wouldn't this be more
difficult? And lastly, is this need to reassign because of biology, or
because of circumstances?
Bob the questionbox and Harley who knows all things
Subject: RE: Santa Claus
And what a nice Santa Claus too!!! Wish I had him to unwrap as my
birthday present!! hehe
Edward
Subject: Startling news from Japan
Did you hear that Japan is sending Florida nine tons of Viagra? They heard
that Florida was having trouble with its erection!
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End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #66
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