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-A Diet Coke And Cheese & Crackers (6)
I just gave a woman - about 40 YO or so - my last frozen Mars bar, a diet Coke, some cracker/cheese snacks, and a banana. She was parked in a beat up compact car in front of a vacated house on my cul-de-sac all night and all morning. She is living out of her car. Paul, my neighbor, said she has spent the last three nights there. We went to talk to her about 11AM - she said her car would not start. Paul gave her a quart of oil and jump-started her car, her battery was dead. She has the car stuffed with stuff - she wears fingers full of cheap rings. She appears relatively clean. She smiled a lot, was very gracious. I thought to let her in to use the bath room and fix her a decent lunch, but a red light flashed and I then thought how it might lead to "problems". We settled on the little food and the jump-start, and directions to the Salvation Army.
When I came back from my walk earlier this morning, there was a cable guy in my back yard working on the unit on the pole that is located along my back fence. He was about 5 1/2 feet tall, around 200 pounds, a full silver beard cut short. Solid and quite nice all in all. Very cute with all the tools and hooks and so forth hanging all over him. I said, "Howdy!" and he said hello. Said he'd be gone in a minute. I said (unusual for me) that he was welcome to stay all day - lunch served at noon. I meant it, but of course he laughed. I laughed too. He left shortly thereafter. I was ready to pull down my pants and the bed covers if he knocked on the door. I'd welcome him to ultimate intimacy.
Now I am thinking how reluctant I/we were to provide minimal aid to a lady who probably is in a situation she can not control - a lady who stirred my sympathy, and how willing I was to give "my all" to a guy who was in no need at all but stirred my libido. I am asking myself if I am of worth. The lady did say she did not want to make a call, "I have no one to call." (I am trying to justify my inaction here, but it isn't working.) My mother would have had her in the shower in the wink of an eye, and a great meal waiting for her when she got out. Am I so much less a person than she was - or has society become so volatile that it commands caution before humanity?
Excuse me now - I am going for another walk. I will look for the part of my soul I lost some where along my life's path. Wish me luck that I find it. And next time, perhaps, the Hell with caution.
Keep 'em coming, Dick!
What a touching story, Dick. I forwarded it on to a group I belong to here in North Dakota called Rainbow Ranch. It consists of only gay and lesbians throughout the state. I've asked them what they would do in a similar situation. Even now, I am wrestling with what I would have done. Yes, I know what *should* be done, but would I *do* it? And I do hope you find that part of your soul that you think got lost somewhere. Enjoy your walk!
Ah Dick, you've touched the soul of, what I suspect to be, a great many of us. I can easily imagine myself sensing that same 'red-flag' with the poor woman and practically dropping my pants in front of some cute guy. I do not think you are evil or lost because of what you did or thought. You saw yourself and what you allowed yourself to do and decided it was at least questionable. For that you deserve to be honored.
Perhaps your experience and your decision to share it with the rest of us was meant to be. Had you taken the poor woman in, allowed her to shower, given her a hearty meal and sent her on her way, you would not have mentioned it to us. We would all be the lesser for it. But you pondered your actions and made each of us do the same. A purpose was served and only the foolish will ignore the lesson.
Thanks. For myself, I will always remember what you did and said. You have probably changed hundreds of lives. The gods have their way and we cannot know it.
How very wise you are, Walt. Your response and others like it have given me a serenity I did not expect. You are most welcome, and I thank you for your beautifully written compliment and encouragement.
Please do not feel too badly. Society has taught the male to be very wary of being caught dead alone with a stranger female. At least this is on my mind. I used to be a safe house for abused wives but after a year of having the various women and their kids at my home I realized how vunerable we are. Fortunately no accusation was ever made but when the realization struck of how easily I could become the victim of a nutcase woman or a confused or irrational child it scared me to death. Like you Dick, I would do anything to help that woman, " outside of my home in public ". Food, taxi, drinks, money, phone calls, etc. As for the Libido driven behavior, I don't know anything about you but I will mention that in the last 4 years, there have been two older gay men killed within 15 miles of my home after they invited unknown younger men in for fun. These bad guys eventually were caught, tried and convicted. But, the two older gay men are still dead.
Best of luck with your soul searching.
Invited to play golf by someone he didn't like, late comedian W.C. Fields responded, "When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own."
Found covertly reading the Bible on a movie set one day, and asked why, Fields answered, "just looking for loopholes, just looking for loopholes."
(When asked, "How do you like children?") "Fried!"
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
"...more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol."
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
(Fields' proposed epitaph:) "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat".
"What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl. "We're on the patch."
"Well, yes, I did once."
"Well, how did she look?"
"Oh boy, she looked very angry!"
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere. "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your wife's face once during sex. That seems highly unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?"
"She was watching us through the window."
End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #219