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Silverfoxesclub-digest
Thursday, April 12 2001
Volume 01 : Number 205

In this issue:

-with gratitude to Ben et al.
-Humor: Arnie S.
-The Trouble Tree
-Kidz

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From: "luvhog" luvhog@ameritech.net
Subject: with gratitude to Ben et al.

I can no longer allow this wonderful thread of erudite discourse continue without lending my heartfelt thanks to Ben and all the rest who are providing more background.

Ben, you are proving, once again, that Garrison Kieler (sp?) is not the only story teller of note today. I congratulate you on the telling of Elektra. Your latest installment has left me with vivid images of being a participant in the audience of the first production. You write a very believable scenario that has captured vividly an interpretation of the world of "Ancient" Athens. Are you sure you weren't there at the time. You say you are old enough to have been.

I actually can't wait for the next installment. Among your many talents you have the art of the born teacher and you have an enraptured student in me.

Thanks again for all the hard work you do on the list, on your site and for the Silverfox Community as a whole.

Dave aka luvhog
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From: "Dennis O" irishbear@hotmail.com
Subject: Humor: Arnie S.

Ten Reasons Arnold Schwarzenegger Should be Governor of California:

#10. His promise to Californians: "The electricity will be baaaaaack!"
#9. He could wrestle Jesse Ventura -- winner gets the loser's state!
#8. Formal state dinners held at Planet Hollywood.
#7. Democratic celebrities would mysteriously start disappearing.
#6. There would be a new Survivor 3, based on "The Running Man."
#5. He and George W. Bush could help each other get edjumacated in speaking English.
#4. His office: Muscle Beach
#3. Ronald Reagan would be granted Total Recall.
#2. Citizens would do hard time for flabby triceps.
And the #1 reason.....
#1. He would have to give up his current job and start acting for a living!
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From: Big-ol-Bearcub@webtv.net
Subject: The Trouble Tree

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family.

As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching tips of the branches with both hands.

When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children, gave his wife a kiss, and told them how very much he loved them.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied.

"I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, job troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again." "Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Always remember, "Never confuse your career with your life. Job troubles (and the people who create them) don't belong in your home." ------------------------------
From: Big-ol-Bearcub@webtv.net
Subject: Kidz

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....
"Da-ad...."

"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"
I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

'WHAT? "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
****
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!"
****
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
****
A mother took her three year old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy Birthday to you...."
****
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
****
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said,"Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs.Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
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End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #205
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