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Sunday, April 08 2001
Volume 01 : Number 201

In this issue:

-Athenian Heroes of Democracy
-Quote of the Day
-Humor: Mom, I'm gay!
-Math Proficiency Exam

From: "Ben Boxer"
Subject: Athenian Heroes of Democracy

Harmodius and Aristogiton [härmO'dEus, âr"istOjI'tun] were male lovers 2600 years ago in ancient Greece. Aristogiton was a middle-aged man deeply in love with the much younger Harmodius. As the result of a famous incident perpetrated by these two, they became celebrated in Athenian history as great defenders of democracy after their tragic deaths in 514 BC. Greek historian Thucydides tells their story in "History of the Peloponnesian War," Book VI.

Hippias, the ruling tyrant of Athens at that time, had a brother named Hipparchus who fell in love with the beautiful Harmodius. Ignoring the young man's sacred commitment to his lover, the tyrant's brother made advances toward him clearly meant to usurp the relationship in behalf of his own desire for Harmodius' love. As a man in a position of intimidating authority and power, Hipparchus had every intention of getting his way.

Undaunted, however, Harmodius rebuffed him and informed Aristogiton who, incensed by the temerity of Hipparchus, conspired with enemies of the tyrant Hippias to assassinate both the ruler and his brother. The argument made by the two lovers was that the terms of freedom in Athenian democracy gave a man the right to choose and remain with the man of his choice without fear of intimidation or interference from those in power.

This is the historically accepted explanation of the attempt that was made on the lives of Hippias and his brother Hipparchus during the armed procession at the Panathenaic festival of 514 BC, but the plot miscarried, and only the offending Hipparchus was killed. Hippias was saved by his guards who killed young Harmodius on the spot. Aristogiton was captured and died under torture. Hippias consolidated his tyranny as a result of the conspiracy and became more ruthless than ever.

Although Hippias' despised reign continued another four years, the lovers' efforts to set Athens free served as a rallying cry when the citizens of the city rose up in revolt and drove Hippias into exile in 510 BC. Aristogiton and Harmodius were pronounced heroes of Athens, symbols of the triumph of democracy over tyranny.

Two statues, executed by Antenor, were erected in the Agora, the great public square and marketplace, and coins were struck with their image. (Picture of Renaissance copies attached.)

The lovers were celebrated in drinking songs as the deliverers of the city and are seen as heroes of democracy even to this day, usually spoken of as "friends" rather than as the lovers they actually were. Long live the Gay Gene!


"Ancient Hymn to Aristogiton and Harmodius"
(Edgar Allan Poe's translation from the Greek)


Wreathed in myrtle, my sword I'll conceal
     Like those champions devoted and brave,
When they plunged in the tyrant their steel,
     And to Athens deliverance gave.


Beloved heroes! your deathless souls roam
     In the joy breathing isles of the blest;
Where the mighty of old have their home -
     Where Achilles and Diomed rest.


In fresh myrtle my blade I'll entwine,
     Like Harmodious, the gallant and good,
When he made at the tutelar shrine
     A libation of Tyranny's blood.


Ye deliverers of Athens from shame!
     Ye avengers of Liberty's wrongs!
Endless ages shall cherish your fame
     Embalmed in their echoing songs!

(The eccentric Mr. Poe, who claimed that his attachments to women were "ideal and spiritual," married his first cousin when she was two weeks past 13. He died childless at 40, two years after his tubercular wife passed on at the age of 25.)
From: "Ben Boxer"
Subject: Quote of the Day

"...Hey! I just figured out how Eminem got his name!"
-- Comic Rodney Lee, after reporting the following information:

A study by Lifestyles Condom shows that the average length of a male sex organ is 5.877 inches. At 5.877 inches, the average penis is about the size of an unwrapped Nestle Butterfinger candy bar or a medium cup of coffee at Starbucks with the sip lid. Most men vary in size between a Twix bar and a Peter Paul Mounds with the wrapper extended...
Subject: Humor: Mom, I'm gay!

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.

He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."

His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."

His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"
Subject: Math Proficiency Exam

City of New York - Revised High School Math Proficiency Exam

GANG NAME________________

1) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

2) Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus' $800 per day crack habit?

3) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

4) Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes, and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?

5) Raoul got 6 years for murder, He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

**Extra credit question: How much more time will he get for killing the ho that spent his money??

6) If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint?

7) Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

8) Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat if Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa with one weeks salary?

9) Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his Magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?

Remember -- Say NO to drugs!
Good luck, and no talking!
From: "Ben Boxer"
Subject: Athenian Heroes of Democracy

I have not sent a Passover card this year but I extend wishes for a peaceful holiday to all those of the Hebrew faith and in particular to the Israelis and the Palestinians who are trying so hard to find a way together in the Holy Land of Christians, Moslems and Jews. It is a time of family gatherings and lavish meals called Seders. May the feasting include all and exclude no one from the banquet table which all must share in the Middle East.

Today is also Palm Sunday and next Sunday is Easter for the Christians. Good Friday comes in between. May the stone of hatred and mutual mistrust be rolled away as it was from the tomb and may Love come forth to inspire the faithful of all relegions who will converge upon Jerusalem during this season.

Peace, shalom, salaam!

End of silverfoxesclub-digest V1 #201